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ARCHIVES! EMAIL AWAY! STU TAKES US THROUGH HIS FANTASTIC CAREER CHOICES  'Hello, I'm stu - always taking the freeway to success, always following the speed limit. As you can see, I even wear a helmet whilst driving - that's for just a little bit more saftey, which is always the legal way.  One of the happiest times of my life was when I joined the cult of Life Mechanics I soon got into gear and took a seat in the driving lane of life  My friends were all pretty surportive 
Fame at last! It was something of an irony that the colapse of Life Mechanics forced me to live in my car  Now that I was literally in the parking lot of life, I needed a new direction So I joined The Police 
And now I solve all your pop problems - the legal way!
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Monday, June 30
(Even More) Reasons To Hate Dominic Mohan With Every Fibre Of Your Being: - Only but two weeks ago, he wrote a scathing review of the Appleton album. The Appleton album which has been out for ages. He got the title wrong, and mocked the lyrics Listen to Harry Potter on my cassette player audio, which are really ace. - His paper always has tits in it. Always. - He seems to think real people actual care about Big Brother contestants shagging each other. They don't. Down with Mohan! Best Name In This is Barratt Waugh. 
Isn't he lovely? I still haven't heard this persons single - it is probably shit - but I may well buy it anyway. Taj Goes Pop - The Sequel: - Taj will cover 4 Your Love - most often referred to as The Song They Play When Someobody Falls In Love or The Song Delta Sang At Karl And Susan's Second Wedding - and release it as a single. For your love, I'd do anything... - this is the best song ever (it is not). Hairhat United: I have a song saved to my hard drive with the title Don't Say Hat You Love Me. This may well be the funniest thing ever. Unless it is not. Very Exciting News: Our new spiritual leader, Jaime-Robbie Reyne - otherwise known as Taj off Neighbours - is (probably) set to become the latest soapstar-gone-pop! Apparently he's already written thirteen songs which he'd like to put on an album. This is the most fantastic news I have heard since somebody told me Todd off Corrie was going to be on Soapstars In Their Eyes. Taj Goes Pop: - He will most certainly go pop, as opposed to going pub-rock (although, so long as there's an enhanced video on the CD, I'm sure I'll still buy all his singles). - He will do a cover of I've Had My Eye On You, and dedicate it to the object of his stalkerdom, The Lovely Libby. - His first video will be shot on location on the Kennedy's lawn. There will be binoculars involved. And bathroom windows. And hilarious outcomes involving him mistaking Susan for The Lovely Libby. - He will dance in his video. I imagine he'd be a bonza dancer (as opposed to a tiny one). - He will not be proclaimed as The New Kylie Minogue (unless he would like to dig out some gold hotpants, in which case I shan't argue). My Main Men From Mercury 4 
I recieved this e-mail this morning from the Mercury 4 Crew. It's fun to play 'find how many things are wrong and hilarious' with the following statment: "Our single 'Get Me Some' is officially released today (30 June). We just received really exciting news that it has debuted in the KMart and Big W charts at NUMBER ONE! Yay! There is a quantity of LIMITED EDITION singles out there which come with a FREE bonus poster, so make sure you get yours AS SOON AS POSSIBLE 'cos once it's gone, it's GONE forever! Please tell your friends...." - It's debuted at number 1 in the Kmart and Big W charts has it? I don't know exactly what that means, but I think nothing. Glad you're 'excited' though boys! It'll be even more exciting I'm sure when you debut at 74 in the ACTUAL charts! - Limited Editions!! They will all be 'limited editions', I guarantee it - FREE bonus poster! Can't wait to throw that one in the bin - 'Once it's gone it's gone forever!' They will still be sitting on the shelves in 3 months time, right at the back of the M section - 'Please tell your friends'. I sure have, but in a fairly sarcastic way The Song I've finally listened to it, and, it sounds EXACTLY like a Blue song. And it's hopped in a time machine and visted 1999. It IS better than the latest D-side and Triple 8 songs, but it's very average. The b-side actually isn't that bad though, and the remixes sound promising. I might still buy it, it'll be 4.44 at Kmart which I can make up out of the 10 and 20c pieces from the jar in the kitchen. Kmart rock. Delta Goodrem It has to officially be Delta Goodrem Day. She is at number one with Innocent Eyes, which makes it 3 number ones in a row, and all off the same album! And the albums gone back to number one as well! Most importantly, Evanescance are finally knocked of number 1. Thank you Delta. 
Gareth's plans to be Down Under and on Top! 
I don't know if I've already posted this, and I can't be bothered sorting thru the archives, so... Gareth's doing a promotional visit in Australia, beginning the 17th July! He'll be appearing in both Sydney and Melbourne, which is good for Crystal and myself, but unfortunate for the fans in Perth, who actually represent the majority of Gareth's Aussie fan base. I've written into Mornings with Kerri Anne (haha!) and got a response that Gareth can't be on the show because Idol is Channel 10 feature. I've also emailed Rove and hopefully I"ll get some feedback there, it would be a great plug for Gareth. So as soon as I get word Crystal, I'll let you know his plans for Melbourne. I'm very tempted to go there myself to coincide with his trip but that's bordering on obsessive so I might just stick to Sydney! Mercury 4 After hearing you've become a fan Crystal, have you, or are you going to meet the boys at one of the Melbourne signings? There was one at my local mall yesterday but I can't say I'm really a fan of theirs... only cos I don't like "Get Me Some" much, maybe their next single will be to my liking... Sunday, June 29
Taj Yahoo Group Ahoy We've stumbled upon a rather sad Taj yahoo group. It had 5 members..... now 7! I think you should at least join Michael GET TAJ-ING Better Than Rain: Obviously, her royal mightiness has forgotten to add Secret Garden to her list of masterpieces. Secret Garden is by far the best track on the Erotica album. It makes Rain seem as emotional as Did You Do It?. Did You Do It? is pants. Things That Confuse Me Muchly With Regards To The Erotica Album: - Why in Pete's name did they release a second version of the album featuring Did You Do It?, given that Did You Do It? is the worst song - Why is In This Life one of the most badly produced songs in Madonna's back catalogue, when it is actually really, really good? - Why didn't they use the picture with the gold tooth on the front cover? - Why is she sucking a toe on the back cover? Surely this is vile? Fantastic Song Of The Day 
Of course Erotica as a whole is grossly underated, but especially the singles, which often get forgotten when crap like Material Girl and Like A Virgin get called classics. Rain is a masterpiece. Other Madonna 'Masterpieces' (as I call them): - Bad Girl - In This Life - Nothing Fails - Justify My Love - I Want You - You'll See - This Used To Be My Playground - Frozen CRAP: - Like A Virgin - Material Girl - Crazy For You - True Blue - Everybody - Cherish Mercury 4 Out Tomorrow
I'm so excited, my new favourite band Mercury 4 have their single out tomorrow! I havn't even heard it! (Unless I have but I didn't realise it was them). I'll be getting it though! Paul Robinson Sunday 
This is appropriate, because Sunday was the only day that Paul got off from running Lassiters and the Robinson corporation, and got to put his feet up and have a well deserved break. Paul was a legend of Ramsay St in the early ninties. - Everyone hated him, like those do-gooders the Willises - But he ruled! - He married one of the Alessi twins, but accidently slept with the other one as well. Oh well! - He was a ruthless businessman, which is the only sort of businessman to be - He drove a Porsche - And was a bonza guy! And of course, he was played by Stefan Dennis, also a legend. Drop! The Celebrity - Best Telly Ever?: 1. If Ricardo had been a popstar, he would have been rival only to Pete Burns in Michael's Top Five Androgynous Popstars list. However, Ricardo is not a popstar, Ricardo is a celebrity hairdresser, who went into work on The Salon dressed in drag on more than one occassion. He is also really, really sweet. This is why Ricardo is ace. 2. Surely dropping Cheryl Baker - a former member of Bucks Fizz - out of a plane is close to blasphemy, especially when said Cheryl Baker breaks her leg upon landing, and is made to do an interview before she sees a medic. 3. All the other celebrities - except Ricardo - were being mean to Lady Victoria Harvey, who is ace. The bastards. 4. When sat between Linda Lusadi and Garry Bushell, Bobby Davro seems like someone worth spending time with. 5. I'm not even sure whether I'm spelling Garry Bushell's name right. I'm not particularly bothered, because he is a dick. 6. I didn't even know who Linda Lusadi was. Know Your Audience: Such is the hilarity of Bloggers custom adverts. Melanie C MP3s: easy to download complete Melanie C songs archive www.mp3-for-uk.com That is all. The Re-Evolution of...: My internet works again. I'm celebrating my comeback with a round of list-making. Things That Are Ace: 1. My new best mate, The Glorious Taj Coppin, whose new hair is even better than his old hair. 2. Being back online. 3. Bjork, whose aceness merits a week of celebration, if only for the very acely-titled You've Been Flirting Again. 4. Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix, despite being about seven hundred pages beyond my attention-span, and not baring any of mention of Melons B's daughter. 5. Avid Merion, for singing I would even sellotape my eyeball to a seagull, amongst other things. 5.5. Drop The Celebrity, for being the greatest televisual idea ever, and for bringing my beloved Ricardo off The Salon back from the celebrity wasteland. Things That Are An Absolute Swizz: 1. My Pop Idol audition didn't go very well. Reasons Why My Pop Idol Audition Didn't Go Very Well: 1. I forgot the words to Tainted Love halfway through, and invented an entirely new second verse. 2. I didn't do a silly dance, or wear a blandly-patterned Ben Sherman shirt, or trousers, or loafers. 3. I wasn't deeply, deeply hilarious, or a screaming, attention-seeking fag. 4. I actually care about pop music, perhaps to a fault. We shan't discuss this any further. Saturday, June 28
Mercury 4 I'm of course against liking crap things for the sake of it, but I occassionally get a bit of a cult obsession for things that are a bit shit. We have a new (what I think are a) boyband here in Oz, called Mercury 4. I heard an interview with them when I was in HMV last week and I became interested in knowing who they were. 'Losers' I was informed. Anyway, I've hopped on over to their website. It was really a lot harder than it should of been to add myself to and annoy other people with the mailing list, so I gave up. I did manage to become a VIP member though. I'm very excited about this, because I've been promised free Mercury 4 goodies, the first of which are, wait for it - desktop wallpapers!! I'm still trying to decide which one to use: 
A Tribute To... Mis-teeq - The GREEN Album 
Available at SANITY now (just ask the girl behind the counter!) Friday, June 27
BEWARE! If you live in Australia, do not switch your tv to the ABC tommorow night. Rage are doing a novelty song marathon! A Special Dedication To A Special Song 
Four months after it's release it's still brilliant. Infact, it just gets better. Infact, it could just be the best song of the year, if not all time. Go Aussie Go! 
Lleyton let us down big time, but Mark Philippoussis is going great guns and is through to the third round. We got coverage of the match last night, even though it was on a shitty court, and a not very important game. But there were Aussie flags in the background and Aussie accents calling out 'Go Mark' every few seconds, so that was rather tops. We also had our biased commentators who barely knew who the other guy was, and certainly didn't care. Top 5 Reasons Mark Philippoussis Rocks 1. He's from Melbourne 2. He's name is Mark, which is a favourite of mine 3. Pat Rafter doesn't like him. Yay!! 4. He has done it with Anna Kournikova 5. He won us the Davis Cup in 99. Sucked in Rafter! Tops Search Results Referal Day! Everyday when I check the google search requests that lead to this site, there's usually Delta+Goodrem+Vagina+Pics and not much else. But, today, people have arrived here looking for 'Info on Taj and Libby' and 'Why do we allways like the snakes the best'! Now those are the sorts of things we provide info on. Depeche Mode Appreciation 
Another group we never mention on this site is the thoroughly bonza Depeche Mode. I'm not going to pretend to be the most gigantic fan on the planet or know everything about them, because I don't. But I do have a bit of their stuff, and think that Martin Gore is a genius, I can't even believe how many tops as songs he has writen. I don't think he should sing with that girly voice though. Dave Gahan totally should all the time though, he is a lengendary singer. I don't know who the others are or what they do, but probably something involving keyboards. Top 5 Depeche Mode Songs: 1. Enjoy The Silence. This is a perfect song. In my top 10/20 songs of all time, easily 2. Everything Counts. You've gotta love songs about anti-corporatism, and that rhyme Career with Korea 3. People Are People. There's a touch of the Heal The Worlds about this song, but at least it's not a freaking ballad 4. Blasphemous Rumours. 'I think that God's got a sick sense of humour, and when I die I expect to find him laughing.' Brilliant 5. Shake The Disease. This is a bit, spooky or something... It's totally tops anyway Thursday, June 26
A Message To Taj: I've changed my mind. Taj should hold out from moving in to Ramsay Street until I take my gap year and come to Oz. I'm sure he won't mind waiting for me. Notes From A Small - I am leaving school today. - My internet is still poorly. I should be getting it back this weekend, although I can't be sure. You can imagine my distress. - Neighbours hasn't been on for ages because of the tennis. I hate tennis. It's been a distressing few weeks. - More distressement: I woke up at five o'clock this morning so as I could get to the bus stop at seven thirty in time for my Pop Idol audition. Only when I was at the bus stop did I realise I'd come a day early. I am glad I didn't wait until I'd gotten to Manchester to check my cover letter. - The Fabulous Taj should move in with The Evil Harold - this would be the best Neighbours storyline ever! - I would like to welcome The Fabulous Taj to the blog. Welcome to the blog, your fabulousness! - Todd off Corrie has moved in with Evil Sarah. Todd off Corrie wants to hurry up and turn gay. By The Way... Cameron Adams totally agreed with me. 'You ARE Cameron Adams, fess up' Claire says to me. Believe me, I wish. Is Taj's Time Up? 
Unless Taj gets himself into a house in Ramsay St quick smart, he is going to get written out of the show. There are only two purposes of characters that don't live in Ramsay St: - They are only around to make trouble and may come from Anson's Corner or Elliot Park. God knows where Taj lives, but he won't tell us. Neither will the Neighbours producers. Anyway, these characters never stick around long - They date or become friends with the Ramsay St residents. This is what Taj has done, BUT, these characters usually find a way to move into Ramsay St within 3 months. And Taj hasn't. He's got to move in as soon as possible, or he has to become evil and get written out How Can Taj Move Into Ramsay St Though? I know, it's a tricky one. There's not a lot of openings. Maybe the Scullys...but they're pretty full, and what would the storyline be? I think he's blown any chance of living at the Kennedy's by sexually harrassing their daughter and making her lose her job. I reckon the best bet would be moving in with Harold. We could have a sort of Tad/Paul storyline where Taj's parents die, and Harold fosters him. This would be doubly good, because his sister Tahnee could come back from boarding school and move in as well. It will be easy to kill off the parents because they've never been seen and nobody would care. And Harold desperately needs some new housemates because it's no good if a character lives by themselves. Since he's been alone they made up a spastic stroyline where Lou had to move in for a while, and another spastic, though admittidly hilarious one, where Gino moved in. And of course they get Ruby back every couple of months to rob the place, but we need some permanant residents. This is a totally good, and quite believable idea, so remember I predicted it if it ever actually happened. Honorary Request In honour of news that Gareth will be gracing our Aussie shores on the 17th July, I'm requesting that the blog return to its original name: Gareth Gates Downunder and On Top, since thats whats about to happen!! Thoughts Crystal? Wednesday, June 25
Jumping On Board With Jewel I under sold the album in the post below. It's ace as. I would recomend it to anyone, Jewel fans and non-Jewel fans alike. And that's everyone! You've gotta be one or the other! Don't sit on the fence, decide whether you love or hate Jewel, then go buy her album! I'm Going Out On A Limb See this album? ->  I LIKE IT. Notice it is only Wednesday evening. The Cameron Adams verdict won't be in till tommorrow morning. I usually don't proclaim love for an album till Thursday afternoon, after I know it's allright to. But, even if it only gets 2 stars tommorow, I will stand by my claim that this is a tops album. I can't back down, I'm gonna have my own opinion for once, and if Cameron Adams agrees, that will just be a bonus. (Please please please agree with me) Anyway, I'm quite impressed with Ms Jewel. Here are some reasons why 03:04 is a great purchase: - The CD is Fluro Pink! If there's one thing I like more than pink, it's hot pink, and it there's one thing I like more than hot pink its fluro pink - Now this is really good: she does a track-by-track review of all the songs. This is just a tops tops idea - Some of it is quite American Life-esque - And some of the songs are quite brilliant I'm feeling nervous. It better at least get 3 stars tommorow, or it's ME that's wrong, I know. 'Where has my taste gone?', I'll wonder, and probably delete this post. Bonza Sites! Jonny's Site. He likes Wimbledon, and girls who don't wear much! BestWorst. If you like jokes about Donna Summer and sandwhiches as much as I do (which is a LOT), then you'll love this Life On Minges Hill. It's our twin site, so you better go have a look Ramsay Street.net. This is the best Neighbours site, it's totally bonza Claire And Alyson. (Cos there'll be angry yahoo messages otherwise, hehe) Seriously though, they're pro-Strawberry Shortcake and anti-Harry Potter, which is allright by us And all the ones in the links section! Go visit now please! STEPS DAY Do you know we have never ever done a single post on the fantastic group Steps? It's true! And wrong! Henceforth, it will for the rest of the day be Steps Day! I'm excited! Why am I so excited? Well, first off, Step One is one of my favourite albums of all time. 
A Classic Bu that's not where it ends. Where it ends is that Steps are excellent. Top 5 Steps Songs: 1. Last Thing On My Mind. This would be in my top 20 songs of all time, it's that good. And I know it's written by Bananarama and they did it first, but their verison sucks. This one however rules. 2. Say You'll Be Mine. I saw this on Pop-Up Video once and I was so excited, because Steps only had 3 hits here and this wasn't one of them. I dunno why, it's bonza! 3. Love U More. This isn't theirs either, and I do like the original, but this is slightly better. It should of been a single 4. Baby Don't Dance. This is potentially a spastic sellection, but I really like it. 5. Here And Now. Why this isn't on Gold I'll never know. Probably because it's sub-par Britney crap, but that doesn't mean I love it any less. That wasn't a very good Top 5 Steps was it? I feel like I should have Tragedy and One For Sorrow, but I don't really like them very much. Most Favourite Member Of Steps: Claire. By a mile. I LOVE Claire, she is such a dag. 
Then: 2. Faye 3. Lisa 4. H 5. Lee - Less anoying than H, sure, but absolutely THE most useless member of a group ever. Posh Spice And Ringo Starr have nothing on this guy. Worst Steps Song Ever: 5,6,7,8. Me and Steps really got off on the wrong foot with this song, I absolutely hated it, and them. Most Hilarious Steps Song: Experienced. It's H. Singing about. Lossing his virginity. To an older woman. It's so wrong it's right. 2nd Most Hilarious Steps Song: The one just after, Too Weak To Resist. Now H is married to a woman, and he's cheated on her! This is sounding more realistic actually. And it's actually an allright song Favourite Video: They're all really good, and if you want to know the ONE music DVD you need to own it's Steps Gold. I'm gonna say my fave is Last Thing On My Mind because it's so amatuer and great. The blue car, the waving, Claire's so UNSEXY 'sexy' bits to camera when she's trying to show her cleavage and be seductive. And I love the dance routine by the pool, it rules. They DID rule 
Happy Steps Day! Tuesday, June 24
What's The Point? I was going to do an indepth post on why I like the video to Abs Stop Sign, but the SINGLE google image search result for it was this: 
I didn't post a bigger size version of it because the green text says 'If you wanna hear Lance sing display this proudly on your website.' Anyway, I'm surprised that Stop Sign is being released, and that the video was on the telly. For the record, I like the video because it's all black and white and the girls in it wear slutty leather outfits. Being the non-feminist I am, the ONLY thing females should wear in pop videos are slutty leather outfits, so I was happy. And poor Abs, he wants to be Justin so badly doesn't he? And to be fair, he was banging on about lovin' MJ back in 98 when JT was still hanging with Lance. Perhaps that's the conection! Get your act together Google! Ultra Tops Terrifically Bonza Words - Spastic - Also, deriving from Spastic: Spaz, Spak, Spakka, Spasticer, Spasticated, Spasticist - "Chuck a spak" - "Chuck a spew" - Taj's favourite words: Awesome, cool, fantastic, dude, 'Catch ya later' ''Taj-riffic' - Bonza, Bonzariffic - Tops, tops as, topper than tops - Rocks my socks It's My Blog And I'll Do Posts On Victoria Beckham If I Want: I think we should actually declare it Victoria Beckham Day  Now, not only was she the second best Spice Girl, but she is really good as a solo artist too. Her album Victoria Beckham is very underated. All of the songs on it are good, there's not one I don't like. There isn't one I love either, but I do at least like them all. I got it for free too, so that helped.
However, her finest work was done between the years 96-98, as Posh. Up untill she cut her hair (tragic). Top 5 Posh Spice Bits In Songs: 1. 'We never dreamt you'd go your own sweet way' - Goodbye 2. 'I've got some living to do, but don't assume I'm gonna be with you' - Love Thing 3. 'Posh!' - Lady Is A Vamp 4. 'Taking pride in myself and the clothes that I wear' - One Of These Girls 5. 'Because dress has always been my strongest suit' My Strongest Suit I'm Shocked! 
Apparently there won't be any Kylie album this year. That's so spazrama, that'll mean at least a two year break between albums. I don't like it. Top 10 Things I Really Want, Musically: 1. A Spice Girls Greatest Hits 2. And DVD 3. A new Geri Halliwell album 4. A new Kylie album 5. A new Britney album 6. A Spice Girls reunion 7. A new Victoria Beckham album (really) 8. A Madonna box set 9. Or anything at all Madonna, Spice Girls, Kylie, 10. Britney, Geri or Victoria Because I really am that lame Good One Well, we are jumping off the Lleyten Hewitt bandwagon as quickly as we jumped on it after that disgraceful effort. Talk about being a Pat Rafter. Monday, June 23
Heroes In A Half-Shell! 
There's a bit of hoopla going around claiming that there are animated turtle characters that are better than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is not possible. Being a big fan of Groups Where Everyone's Different, allowing for zany situations where there are hilarious misunderstandings, the Turtles are absolute legends. They are the Spice Girls of the teenage, ninja and mutated worlds. And while we're not going to get into who is the Mel C (Leonardo) and who is the Geri (Raphel), I will say one thing: Turtle Power = Girl Power Gives you something to think about doesn't it? Self Indulgent Madonna Post 
I've actually been doing productive work today, but I keep being distracted by listening to Madonna and organising and admiring my collection, which seems like a far more important thing to do. Every Madonna CD I Own, Listed And Rated! - Madonna 4 stars. Lucky Star and Burning Up are pop perfection - The First Album (Same, but with different cover) - Like A Virgin 2 1/2 stars. Er, it's ok. I don't really like the singles - True Blue 3 stars. Go White Heat, you legend of a song - Who's That Girl. 3 Stars. There's only three Madge songs on it, so one each - You Can Dance. 3 stars. Spotlight is a winner - Like A Prayer 4 stars. So un-spastic it's not funny - I'm Breathless 4 1/2 stars. Yay!! Hanky Panky! I love them all - The Immaculate Collection 2 stars. What a ruiner of good songs this is - Erotica 5 stars. My love for this knows no bounds - Erotica (Single) 5 stars. Ditto - Rain 4 stars - Bad Girl 4 1/2 stars - Deeper And Deeper 4 1/2 stars - Bedtime Stories 2 1/2 songs. At least there's Human Nature - Something To Remember 4 Stars. Really tops as collection - Don't Cry For Me Argentina 3 1/2 stars - Evita 4 stars. Hehe, I love it - Frozen 5 stars. Bonza - Ray Of Light 4 stars. All great, except 2 songs, which bring it down - The Next Best Thing. 2 stars. I LOVE Time Stood Still though - Music 3 1/2 stars. Some of the tracks on this are 'songs' in the most liberal sense - Music (single) 5 stars - GHV2 2 stars. How wrong can you get - Die Another Day 5 stars - American Life 5 stars. Equal with Erotica - American Life (single 1) 4 stars - American Life (sinlge 2) 4 stars - American Life (special edition) 5 stars DVD'S AND VIDEOS TOO! - The Virgin Tour Live 2 stars. Hello boredom - The Girlie Show 4 1/2 stars. It's Erotica time! - Drowned World Tour 4 stars. Hello boredom again, but this time interesting boredom - Videos 93:99. 4 stars. For Bad Girl - The Immaculate Collection. 4 Stars. Be scared during The Hair Of 87 though - In Bed With Madonna 5 stars. BONZA AND TOPS - Desperately Seeking Susan 3 1/2. Makes no sense, but there are funky outfits involved - Body Of Evidence. Zero stars. My God - Swept Away. 3 1/2 stars. I like it Promo Posters On My Wall: - The Virgin Tour (With Beastie Boys and Run DMC). 3 1/2 stars. Madonna's only on half of it - Vogue/I'm Breathless 4 stars. It's excellent - Erotica/Body Of Evidence 4 stars. She's all but naked on this - Evita 2 1/2 stars. - American Life (4) 5 stars. Bonzariffic Twin Website Alert! This weblog here is SO like us it's fucking frightening. They've e-mailed me to say they've just found this site today (looking for your beloved Cooler Kids Michael), so it appears to be a fairly freaky coincidence. Why They Are So Like Us: - The two people who write it are from different countries as well - They use the word 'tops' - They love Girls Aloud and do 'Most Tops Girls Aloud Lyrics' lists - Yes, they do lists - They have cross-post blog arguments as well - They do someone Vs someone posts - They want Nicole Kidman to dye her hair back to red - '10 reasons why Cheryl is the mightiest member of Girls Aloud and Sarah is not' I swear, it's like they're taking the piss New Member! How exciting, Taj from Neighbours is joining the blog sometime today! Welcome Taj, have a tops one! Sunday, June 22
The Ultimate Forgotten Album 
Though I never liked that one. The only song I like is Goodbye, and they didn't mean that at all did they? They were GLAD Geri was gone, they were gloating, saying GOODBYE Geri. The bitches. How did it all go wrong, with the combined star power of Emma Bunton, Melanie B and Melanie C? The question that answers itself. (You've excluded Victoria, for being bonza.) 
"I know." The Worlds Worst Add If you've turned on a TV in Oz the past two years, you would of seen the 'Why do we ALWAYS like the snakes the best?' add. It's the spasticest isn't it? I have such a passionate hate of it, it annoys me like nothing else. Just this arvo I was having a whinge about how it was STILL on, after two irritating years. "'Why do we ALWAYS like the snakes the best?' - it's STILL on, I hate it!" THEN I put Big Brother on, and Vincent is going: 'Why do we ALWAYS like the snakes the best?' Argh!! Get that add off! Forgotten Albums Mandy Moore - Mandy Moore 
This album rocks, but nothing ever inspires me to dig it out and play it when the world is full of the Spice Girls, Kylie, Madonna, Britney and Girls Aloud. You're very boring compared to them Mandy. Nevertheless, she does make some good tunes. I used to get the major teasing for bringing this to maths class in year 12, but then my bud Simone decided she was alright, because 'Good Charlotte like her'. That's spastic logic if ever I've heard it, but it's true, Good Charlotte do like her. There's a bit of the guitar on this album, and Mandy Moore does try her best, poor pet. I preferred Candy and I Wanna Be With You frankly, but this album's still really really good. I think it sold up to 38 copies here too. Which is a good effort, we have a very small population. Sure, Kylie can sell a million copies, but she's still riding off the back off Neighbours. Anyway.. Top 5 Mandy Moore Songs: 1. 17. This song is so lame. I love it though 2. In My Pocket. Good song, poor chart position. Once I was in Sanity and this girl was asking her mother if she could get it and her mum said no. I suspect situations like these were solely responisble for it flopping 3. Crush. Oh this song did even better, it might of even cracked the Top 50 4. Turn The Clock Around. This could be on Avril's album, which means it has the bonza seal of approval 5. You Remind Me. A bit of groove along song Is she pregant to Andy Rodick or what? How 'ace' would that be? It would be 'love all'! Tennis jokes stopping now. Er...Harry Potter?  I feel as if I should say that I am SO out of the Harry Potter loop it's not funny. I've never read a single Harry Potter book, I've never even picked one up. I'm not sure I've even looked at one. I haven't seen the first film and I didn't go to the sequel either. I couldn't name any of the characters except Harry Potter, and I couldn't even tell you the title of one of the books unless I thought about it. Other things too:
- I've never seen a Star Wars film - Or Lord Of The Bloody Rings - Or any James Bond film - And a LOT of famous movies you're supposed to of seen Forgotten Albums It's All Saints - Self Titled! 
Despite being a mega lover all things Spice I've never had a single thing against the All Saints. I've got all the albums, singles, video and the Appleton album and singles as well. There was allways room for both wasn't there? Yes. Let's do them in order of terrificness: 1. Nicole. Dunno why, really. At one stage in 98 I had hair that was rather similar to her though, and I thought we had some sort of affinity or something. She doesn't ever sing a single bit on any of the songs, BUT - she has the talky bit in Never Ever!. That's good enough for me. 2. Shaznay. As the main writer she always had my respect of course, and I always used to like the 'rapper' of the group. I was watching Bend It Like Beckham a few months back and I was like 'Is that girl related to Shaz from All Saints?' Lauren: 'That IS her'. See, my keen All Saints spotting eyes. 3. Natalie. I thought she was the best singer, hilariously. She was the most blonde and rather bonza, and allways yapping on about liking Oasis. 4. Melanie. She's the only one I don't like. Top 5 Songs From The All Saints Album: 1. Lady Marmalade 2. Heaven 3. Bootie Call 4. Beg 5. I Know Where It's At NOT Never Ever, that's a bit spastic really. Saturday, June 21
Go The Tennis! There's no AFL in our fine state of Victoria this weekend and people are literally going crazy. However, it is just about Wimbledon time. It's no match for our Australian Open of course, and it's on at 2 am in the morning, and it rains all the time, but it's still pretty bonza. As I love tennis, and tennis players, here are My Seedings Of Greatness: 
1. Lleyton Hewwit. Lleyton is a total legend, and my fave Aussie hero after Kylie. 2. Martina Hingis. Why did you retire Martina, when I love you so? Come back please, and bring your tantrum throwing winning ways with you 3. Kim Clisters. The great hope of our nation is that Kim marries Lleyton and becomes an Aussie and wins us a match 4. Anna Kournikova. Sigh, I've been behind Anna for years, telling people she'll win, and that it's possible for her to be pretty AND talented. Then she keeps on with the losing and the no points getting. I'll continue my support though, due to the fact that most female tennis players are fat lesbians. 5. Venus Williams. I used to like Serena better, but I changed. Venus is so tops, I love her 6. Mark Philipousis. He's from Melbourne. That's about it, unless he actually decides to win a match at some stage 7. Serena Williams. I was in the the lingerie section of Melbourne Myer at the same time as Serena once, and the shop assitants told me she had really big boobs, and it was impossible to find a bra to fit her 8. Jelana Dokic. I've never stopped liking her, and I still hope that she's gonna come back to Oz and be a champ for us. The Aussie spirit never dies 9. Andy Rodick. Er, this is a little 14 year old girl of me. He has got the attitude though, and Mandy Moore. 10. Tim Henman. I always go for Tim, he's so harmless Top 20 Ballads: Theres not many ballads I can even stand, let alone love. But if I had to listen to a ballad, these are the only ones I would chose: 1. Love Takes Time - Mariah Carey. If you don't like this I'd check for a pulse. And a brain. 2. Lost Without You - Delta Goodrem. Hello perfection. 3. I Dream - Billie. As mentioned in the gushing post below. It's like Britney's Sometimes but much sadder and better. 4. You'll See - Madonna. Where we discover Madonna can sing. For a song. 5. Goodbye - Spice Girls. It's always good when Mel C doesn't sing. 6. Finer Feelings - Kylie Minogue. Any version or remix of this is just magical. Brilliant brilliant song. 7. Careless Whisper - George Michael. Though technically a Wham song really, and is ironically, one of the few songs Andrew has a writting credit for 8. Open Road - Gary Barlow. I have some serious love for this song that no-one else seems to understand. The last minute is the most inspirational 60 seconds in pop history 9. Human - Human League. Jam and Lewis, who like to make songs sound spastic, don't for once. 10. Walkaway - Geri Halliwell. Geri just has the voice for ballads doesn't she? (no) 11. Chains - Tina Arena. Everyone likes this, they're lying if they say otherwise 12. Back For Good - Take That. Boybands come and go, and along the way they dance in the rain. But none have ever done it as well as Take That did. 13. Think Twice - Celine Dion. No no no no! I say yes. 14. Walking Away - Craig David. The only good song he's ever done, it's topper than tops 15. I Wanna Be With You - Mandy Moore. When Mandy Moore and ballet combine, the result is Let's Get Bonza! (That didn't even make any sense I know) 16. Stay Another Day - East 17. East 17 were bonza like no other, and they even made good ballads 17. Angels - Robbie Williams. Oh, how obvious. Oh well, I don't care 18. Whole Again - Atomic Kitten. Despite claiming to hate them, I have quite a few of thier singles. This one was from when the vocally talented with good taste in men Kerry was still with them. 19. Life On Mars - David Bowie. Fitting in well between Atomic Kitten and Cyndi Lauper 20. True Colours - Cyndi Lauper Fuck off Kasey Chambers. Love Australia Forgotten Albums Continued It's Billie - Honey To The B! 
I got this the same day I got Shizophonic, as I recall, and I liked it just as much. It's a bit hard to remember why. But this entire album deserves a mention for containing I Dream, a song so amazing words cannot describe it. Yes, bonza is inadequate at times like this. You've just got to listen to it, to hear a ballad that does not suck in any way, shape or form. I hate ballads. I would say without doubt the top 3000 worst songs ever recorded were ballads. Not the Macarena, not Mambo No. 5 , not the Creed back catalogue, but ballads. Some of them will contain the name Diane Warren in the credits, two of them will be Hero, and Heal The World. But one ballad that will not be there, but will instead be amongst the top 100 best songs ever is I Dream. And it's on Billie freaking Pipper's debut album. Other good songs include: - Love Groove - Party On The Phone - Whatcha Gonna Do - Saying I'm Sorry Now My Deepest Apologies To Kimberly, Cheryl and Nicola  I was SO wrong about Sound Of The Underground. I forced myself to listen to it again and again because I thought I must of been missing something. And the first 4 or 5 times I was indifferent to it, really. And then I finally found it - the magic. All of a sudden it's bloody awesome, one of the best albums ever. I like every single song on it now. I EVEN like Forever And A Night and Love/Hate now, and I completely and utterly love Some Kind Of Miracle and White Lies. It's that special word beginning with B - .... Brilliant. And it's pretty bonza too.
My Top 5 Songs For Today: 1. Girls Aloud Some Kind Of Miracle - Because I roll my eyes as if I don't care anyway 2. Tranvision Vamp I Want Your Love - Because I don't want your money honey 3. Madonna Human Nature - Because I'm not sorry 4. Dead Or Alive Sex Drive - Because I've got a review mirror you can watch yourself in 5. Blondie One Way Or Another - Because it's on that Impulse add and everytime I see it it makes me go put it on Forgotten Albums Weekend I have a load of albums that I used to really love at the time, but now never play. But they deserve some appreciation for rocking my world, however briefly. Starting with: Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Read My Lips 
I was so pissed off, because I bought this before Murder On The Dancefloor was released, so before she was popular. Therefore I have the version without Get Over You and Music Gets The Best Of Me so I had to buy the singles. That aside, the songs that are on my version are supremely bonza. My tops as track selections are: 1. Is It Any Wonder. Fucking awesome this song 2. Move This Mountain. Sounds a bit like Dido, but try to ignore that 3. Murder On The Dancefloor. A good Greg Alexander song! 4. The Universe Is You. I like the reference to relativity 5. Lover. Hello the Eighties Friday, June 20
TOP 5 ALBUMS OF THE YEAR If you don't have these, you aint hip. 1. 
Why: - It's Madonna - And she's excellent - Nothing Fails is her second best song ever, only behind Vogue - The imagery. It's like, political - Every songs a total winner 2. 
Why: - It's Delta - She's Australian - She's on Neighbours - Gary Barlow co-wrote it - Lost Without You is one of the greatest songs ever ever. 3. 
Why: - It's Girls Aloud - It's gets better the more you listen to it - They rip off other people in EVERY song, but we don't care - They wear silver outifits on the cover - No Good Advice is possibly the best pop song of all time 4. 
Why: - It's awesome - I wouldn't bother with their first album, but this ones gone all bonza - The cover art is brill - One of the songs is allmost my name - And one only has six lines but still manages to be good 5. 
Why: - It's Dannii - I Begin To Wonder is the best song she's ever done - Vibe On is the second. It rules - It's 80's, which is the fashion - She doesn't sing on it, ever. Thursday, June 19
Girls Aloud - Good Again! 
I've decided the Girls Aloud album is great afterall. This has nothing to do with the good Cameron Adams review (except it does). Therefore, I think it is time for a well overdue, Top 10 Girls Aloud Songs: And these are not just the songs Cameron Adams said he liked. (Except most of them) 1. No Good Advice. Of course. 2. Life Got Cold/ Wonderwall. Except I hate that the last 35 seconds is just music. Lyrics are needed. Lyrics and words, always. 3. Sound Of The Underground. I got sick of it, but then I liked it again. 4. On A Round. I don't think it's a great sign when the fourth best song is a b-side, really. 5. White Lies. I tried not to like this, because I thought it was average, but I couldn't help it. 6. Some Kind Of Miracle. I've begun to love this like crazy. I really like the You say goodbye and I say 'I'll see you around' bit, for some reason. 7. All I Need (All I Don't). Not that she's Miss Originality herself, but this really sounds like a Sophie Ellis-Bextor song. 8. Don't Want You Back. This sounds like, at best a Steps b-side, at worst a D-Side album track, but I do like it quite much. 9. Stop. Sorry to be a super Spice lover, but I hate that this is called Stop. Apart from that it's bonza. 10. Stay Another Day. Another b-side. And a cover. Oh well though. If there were 11 points in a Top 10 list, I'd put Mars Attacks there as well. Anyway, in a thought I actually had myself about the album, if you listen to it a bit it gets really annoying and you want to turn it off, but if you keep it on, it's a bit like breaking through the pain barrier or something, and it actually becomes less annoying again, and you can listen to it for ages. Summer Officially Best Neighbours Character 
Summer Hoyland tonight sealed her position as Ramsay St's most hilarious resident by returning from holidays as, to quote her dad, 'Mother Teressa'. To quote Summer herself: 'Let's go home and eat vegimite sandwhiches and donate money to charity' 'While you were eating that, 236 children died of malnutrition' 'I've decided to become a preist' Cameron Adams Gives The Girls Aloud Album Album Of The Week HiT was like a Popstars special this week ('Scott Cain: We've Found Him'!) and Sound Of The Underground was given one ripper of a review: 
'Girls Aloud were formed before the eyes of British viewers on Popstars: The Rivals.Two bands were formed, one all-female, one all-male, who then competed on the chart for No.1. Girls Aloud won, and with a first single like Sound Of The Underground, it's no wonder. Easily the best thing to come out of any Popstars franchise, it's a spiky explosion with with one foot in yesterday and one in tommorow. It sets the girls apart from their sappy male rivals, signalling a changing of the guard in manufactured pop. It's all about attitude and credibility, Girls Aloud have plenty of the former, but don't bother with the pesky chore of songwriting. At least their record company have sorted them out with top-shelf pop. No Good Advice is a spiky beast shamlessly shaped around the pulsating riffs that made My Sharona, Mickey and Kids In America stick in your head. Tweak them slightly, combine and bring to the boil and you've got No Good Advice: instantly familiar and ridiculously addictive. The songs are written to order: the brief is girl pop with attititude. The squelching clubbed out bass of All I Need (All I Don't) adds dirty funk, while Love/Hate follows the kitchen-sink production that made Tatu a breath of fresh air. Mars Attacks is one of two tracks written by Betty Boo and the Beatmasters - very exciting if you remember their life affirming pop treats from the late 80's/early 90's. White Lies (written by trip-hop act Olive) is a spacey beatfest with a chorus that swings between everything and nothing. This is what the third Spice Girls album should have sounded like. If you need a clever pop fix, dig in. The Verdict: 3 and 1/2 stars In A Word: Sassy ' Needless to say, that review has changed my opinion of it and I now love it a lot more. Is That Toni Pearon?  I was flicking the channels before and I was like 'Is that Toni Pearon?...Is this E-Street?' The answer was yes to both. How long has it been on at 1:30 for, and why wasn't I told?
I LOVE MADONNA In the new video for Hollywood she looks exactly like she did in Express Yourself. Timeless she is. 
MiSS It's Midday and I still haven't got HiT. I'm not even going to get it soon. But I will. I would DIE if I missed it. Chart Of My Mind: 1. GIRLS ALOUD Life Got Cold 2. MICHAEL JACKSON Bad 3. DELTA GOODREM Lost Without You 4. MADONNA Nothing Fails 5. MICHAEL JACKSON Billie Jean 6. GIRLS ALOUD White Lies 7. DELTA GOODREM My Big Mistake 8. MADONNA Hollywood 9. GIRLS ALOUD No Good Advice 10. DELTA GOODREM Innocent Eyes Wednesday, June 18
The Television It's been full of bonza quotes the last few days. The best of which was: 'The singer on that was just tops!' - Jenni, from The Big Arvo, on The Big Arvo Band lead singer Others: 'Damn the law!' Paul Robinson, on Classic Neighbours, getting feisty with Helan On Wheel Of Fourtune yesterday, the puzzle was _ _ . _ R_ _ and the guy goes 'To crap?' Hilarious Jamie from Big Brother: 'I nominate for two points Kath..I mean Kim.' Hysterical because, for one, he made a mistake, and also he was on the show Kath And Kim A timeless classic from tonights Simpsons: Bart: If you care so much, how come you're never at my Little League games? Homer: I told you, I find them boring Homer is such a legend Some Favourite Bits Of The GA Album I really do love the 'You're ruining everything' line from the chorus of White Lies. Also, I love how the girls never actually sing in any of the songs, they just kind of do that speaky/whispery/breathy delivery or they yell. It's very Spice to yell the words, rather than sing them. I love it. Anyway, does anyone know who does the 'When summer slipped away..' line in Life Got Cold? Because it is without doubt my favourite bit in the entire album. I love the delivery of it, especially the way they say 'away'. Going by the deep manly voice I HOPE it is my new fave member Kimberly. 
Albums I've Been Listening To More Than Girls Aloud - Part 6 
Madonna's American Life. I've really found the American Life love today. It's just so good, the most under appreciated album ever. Top 5 Albums By Girl Groups 
1. Spice Girls - Spiceworld 2. Girl Thing - Girl Thing 3. Girls Aloud - Sound Of The Underground 4. Spice Girls - Spice 5. Girlfriend - Make It Come True Tuesday, June 17
DELTA VS GIRLS ALOUD  V
I'm not really sure why they've sudenly become sworn enemies...but they have. Today, despite the fact I travelled travelled for hours and sent myself broke buying my much anticipated Girls Aloud album, I actually spent more time listening to Delta Goodrem's Innocent Eyes, an album I've had for three months and picked up during my lunch break at uni. And, I kept having the thought 'This is much better than Girls Aloud'. And THEN, I log on to Claire and Alyson, and, bizzarely, they've also been comparing Girls Aloud and Delta Goodrem. What is going on? DELTA VS GIRLS ALOUD: THE SHOWDOWN (Fixed so that Delta wins) The Manager Glen Wheatly V Louis Walsh - We are going Wheatly all the way here. It's the Farnham factor. Two true blue tops Aussie blokes, guiding our singing sensation Delta Goodrem to stardom The Outfits Kinda beigey coloured long dress drapey things V Silver outfits - Ok, we're gonna give it to Girls Aloud here The Albums Innocent Eyes V Sound Of The Underground - All things said, Innocent Eyes is a better album. It's a classic. SOTU gets annoying, fairly swiftly. The Singles Lost Without You V Sound Of The Underground - Ok, if I was being fair I would of put it up against No Good Advice, but I'm not. Another win for Ms Goodrem! The Countries Australia V England - Kangaroos, John Farnham, Ramsay St, Dannii Minogue. We win, hands down. The Girls Delta V Chez, Kim, Nic, Nads, and Sarah - We love Delta, she's bloody awesome. She's the nicest girl in the world, she's on Neighbours, she likes the footy and she's just a fair dinkum star. The Verdict Delta wins Todays Issues - Girlfriend. Our early 90's Aussie Girl Group De Jour return, in the form of online auctions - Girls Aloud Album. It's good, but not great. Everyone in Australia who has bought it agrees that Delta is better and have actually spent most of today listening to that instead - Life Got Cold. It rips off Wonderwall - John Farnham. The Voice The Sound Of Something I've Heard A Hundred Times Before
I hate to say it, but I'm sick of it already. I do love a bit of Life Got Cold though. Top 5 Reasons Life Got Cold Rocks 1. I sounds EXACTLY like Wonderwall. This of course means it's terrific, but I think Noel should sue them. 2. 'We skate as we date, as we slowly suffocate' 3. I'm starting to like a bit of guitar in a song 4. They surf thier little souls away 5. And smoke I do think it's a bit of a spaz sentiment though. I mean, two of them are younger than me, how long ago was 'many years'? I'm a bit worried that life is all over at the age of 19. Not that my life hasn't gotten cold or anything, but that was probably just because I forgot to bring my jacket to school once. They just sound so jaded. But back to Wonderwall for a tick, EVERYTIME I hear the 'And long ago I lost my soul..' bit, I expect 'And all the roads we have to walk are winding..' How are they getting away with this? I Finally Found Pictures Of Girlfriend Online!  My point being, I was going to say that I didn't like the Girls Aloud album as much as albums by other girl groups with girls in the title, but as I've never been able to find anything on Girlfriend online before, I wasn't holding much hope of finding a picture of them. But I did!
Girlfriend rocked my world big time. 5 years before the Spice Girls they were the first girl group I was ever obsessed with. The sung about Girl Power, they had raps in their songs, their ballads were good, and they wore REALLY fab clothes for the time. Their hats were the equivilent of Girls Aloud's silver outfits. Their best song is Bad Attitude, which sounds like Janet Jacksons' Black Cat but with a ballad bit. Thier other most bonza songs were Take It From Me, Without You and Girls Life. The did the ultimate Spice Girls trick when the best member left and they went all serious and boring and flopped big time. They changed thier name to GF4. Like the Sugababes and Bananarama, they have an ex-member called Siobhann. Unlike the other two though, Siobhann from Girlfriend is not still attempting a musical career, but is working in a shoe store in Sydney. Melanie can be caught on informercial show Bright Ideas Saturday afternoons on Ten. They ruled. Girls Aloud - My Professional Verdict
Well, after listening to it all the way through, a couple of times, I've come to the conclusion that it's...good. Not really a ringing endorsement, I know. It's not that it's average even, it's above average. It's just that, it could have been better. A lot better. After Sound Of The Underground and No Good Advice, only Wonderwall, sorry, Life Got Cold compares. Life Got Cold is bloody brilliant, no ifs or buts about it. The other two songs I love are Don't Want You Back and White Lies. But I have a problem with them in that they're POP, and not neccessarily in the good way. In the generic way. They are a bit 99/00 Britney/BSB/Nsync/Max Martin. Which would be why I love them. But they aren't really Girls Aloud songs. Some Kind Of Miracle is though, and that's tops. In other news, I don't like Love/Hate at all. The others are all quite bonza though, and I'm really digging Stop at the moment. All in all I give it 3 and a half stars. If CA reviews it on Thurs (please, please, please), I think he will probably give it 3.
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THE LATEST CRAZE - MP3 BLOGS!:THANK ME FOR THE MUSIC BANG & BURN INTO THE GROOVE SUPERVIXXEN (Not just mp3s though that one...but digging the Spice vibe)  There are many things that I would like to say to you... WHY NOT CHECK OUT CLAIRE'S FAVOURITE FILM: 'LOVE FOREVER'?  It's all about Blur - and loving them forever! CFBGOESPOP Loves Blur, Hates Oasis. WE.HAVE.PROOF AUSCULTURE Gulity - of being tops! As is: THEIR BIG BROTHER BLOG They've discovered the correlation between Crystal's Love For A Contestant and Likelihood Of Being Voted Out Immediately ZBONZAK Kickin' it old school with a fly '98 tip JONNY'S SITE Possibly written by Ben Affleck. No, definitely. SEX KITTEN Let's stop this religious war guys! Give peace a chance. POPJUSTICE There are no laws at the seaside! I don't know who Sam & Mark are, but I do find that quite hilarious DIRRRTY POP Joining the congregation! SOAP-DISCO Thank you for taking a CA Approved Stance on Morrissey DAMON.COM Some days we're checking out this site, some days we've gone right off Blur again. MORE LINKS TO COME We're not too good for links you know, so please, if you have a site or if I've forgotten it please email the address and I will add it.
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