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ARCHIVES! EMAIL AWAY! STU TAKES US THROUGH HIS FANTASTIC CAREER CHOICES  'Hello, I'm stu - always taking the freeway to success, always following the speed limit. As you can see, I even wear a helmet whilst driving - that's for just a little bit more saftey, which is always the legal way.  One of the happiest times of my life was when I joined the cult of Life Mechanics I soon got into gear and took a seat in the driving lane of life  My friends were all pretty surportive 
Fame at last! It was something of an irony that the colapse of Life Mechanics forced me to live in my car  Now that I was literally in the parking lot of life, I needed a new direction So I joined The Police 
And now I solve all your pop problems - the legal way!
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Thursday, July 31
Jitterbug! 
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go is probably Wham's most famous song and probably their 4th best one. Here's a spastic fact: There is a Gareth Gates lyric site that has listed on it: Gareth Gates - Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go) Now, that makes me angry for three reasons: - That is not what the title is! It is WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO - AS IF it is a Gareth Gates song - When Gareth DID sing it, he said it was, quote, 'a George Michael song'. That makes me so angry I want to smack him in the head really hard George Michael = Better than Gareth Gates forever Wham! = Better than George Michael forever Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go = Very bonza song 
George Michael And Friend  
'The band had a permanent third wheel in the form of Andrew Ridgley, George's old school chum who he carried with him until he suddenly realised that he was, in schoolyard terms, always eating the Toffos but never actually going to the tuck shop himself' How To Make Friends And Influence Dreadful, Hideous, Non-Kate Lawler Endorsed Television Programmes: GM:TV are using Club Tropicana in their new advertising capaign. Wednesday, July 30
Top 5 White Rappers 
1. George Michael - In his Wham days 2. J - In his 5ive days 3. Abs - In his Abs days 4. Mark Wahlberg - In his Marky Mark days 5. Aaron Carter - In his Have Some Fun With The Funk days Classic Pavilion Stuff I originally did this on January 7 this year, in an argument to prove that Gareth is the missing member of Wham. Decide for yourself Oh Fuck Yesterday should of been Club Tropicana Day as it was the EXACT 20 Year aniversary of the day it was released. 20 years old! And still sounds The Time Human Nature Were Better Than Wham 
It pains me to say that there was one time that the 40 000th best band in the world were better than the 2nd best band in the world. Human Nature's cover of Last Christmas is better than the Wham version. I'm sure no-one agrees, but it's a fact. While the Wham! version is nice and all, Human Nature's version is completely bonza. To celebrate, Top 5 Covers/Samples/References To Wham Or George Michael Songs: 1. Human Nature - Last Christmas 2. Geri Halliwell - Shake Your Booty Cutie 3. Spice Girls - The bit in Spiceworld where they do a bit of Young Guns 4. Darren Hayes - 1980 Me 5. Robbie Williams - Freedom . . . . 700 000 000. Limp Bizkit - Faith Doesn't George Michael Just Really Love Releasing Songs That Begin With The Letter F? In a word: Yes! Take A Look! Fastlove Too Funky Freedom (Wham) Freedom (GM) Father Figure Fantasy Faith Freeeek Woah! And, coming up later, we discuss the best Wham! album ever - Fantastic! Careless Whisper Day: The Conclusion 
As young 'Not George' Michael will no doubt log in and contradict every thing I say, I must conclude Careless Whisper Day now, with a few parting facts: - The members of Boyzone auditioned for the band by singing Careless Whisper - I hope this means that Colin Farrell sung it too - There is a very poxy Careless Whisper fanclub at some location on the internet, which I will not post the link to. It only has 19 members and appears to have no point whatsoever - Some frequently misheard lyrics for the song are 'The cat's whiskers of a good friend' 'Filthy feet have got no rythm' and 'Wealthy children got no rythm'. You'd have to be a complete idiot wouldn't you? The greatest bit of any George Michael/Wham song in history, is this part of Careless Whisper: 'Tonight the music seems so loud! I wish that we could lose this crowd. Maybe, it's better this way, We'd-hurt-each-other-with-the-things-we-want-to-say* We could have been so good together, We could have lived this dance forever... But now, who's gonna dance with me? Please stay...' * Best bit And that's it Tuesday, July 29
Careless Whisper Day: Part 2 The Video 
Carless Whisper has a Seriously Bonza video. Of course, it's full of George's usual lies, as he has not one, but two girlfriends, but it does make a good video. George starts off the video with a boring girlfriend, but then he meets a foxy chick and decides she's the way to go Boring Girlfriend: 
Foxy Chick: 
I suppose this is how he aquires his guilty feet that are never gonna dance again, even though that makes no sense. The best moment of the video is when the old girlfriend walks in and finds George in bed and the foxy chick is sitting at the dressing table filing her nails. She give's the old girlfriend a look. It's too bonza for words. And then it freezes on the girlfriends shock expression. Classic moment. Careless Whisper Special Edition Of Wham! Week 
There is a lot of controversy surrounding Careless Whisper. Even though it is technically a George Michael song, it should really be a Wham! song. Let's take a look at arguements for both sides: Why It Could Be A Wham! Song: - Andrew has a writing credit - It was recorded and released while Wham! were still together - It embodies the Wham! spirit of being totally bonza Why It Could Be A George Michael Song: - He is the only one in the filmclip - It is on his Greatest Hits, not the Wham! one. And the DVD - Everyone says it is But here, we are going to consider it forever to be a Wham song. Let Careless Whisper Day commence! Fool: A very odd young lady once asked the question, Doesn't A very wise and respected young man answered: No. Not at all. Let us examine the evidence. - They are both about dancing about, in the height of summer. Unlike, say, Holi Holiday, Summer Of Love or Summer (ie. a great deal of pop songs are about dancing about, and a great deal of pop songs are about the summer. So there). - One of them is called Loveboat. One of them is called Club Tropicana. These two titles make no sense together. - At Club Tropicana drinks are free. On the loveboat, they drink Martinis. Martinis are fairly expensive. And not free. No. - At Club Tropicana, you are advised to get a suntan. On the loveboat, Captain Kylie sets a good example by asking a nice young man to rub on some sun lotion, to stop her skin from burning. The clever thing. - They sound nothing alike. Ha. So there. Monday, July 28
'Death By Matrimony!' 
Tonight's top Wham! track is Young Guns (Go For It!)  Young Guns tells the tale of the time George ran into an old friend and found out he was engaged to a woman. That'd be right wouldn't it? George says to his old chum 'Hey boy, what's with the frown? I said Hey boy, let's hit the town!' Unfortunately, in return all the guy could say was: 'Hi George, meet my fiance.' The fiance was a bit of a bitch, and wanted her boyfriend to tell George to 'take a hike'. Luckily, she is put FIRMLY in her place:
'Hey shut up chick, that's a friend of mine! Just watch your mouth babe, you're out of line.' She sure had that coming. It's great when songs tell a story. Biggest Lie In A Wham! Song: "I'm not planning on going solo" - Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go Liar George! Liar! Today's Wham! Controversy! Doesn't Kylie's Loveboat Sound An Awful Lot Like Club Tropicana?  Well, it was the first thought I had when I listened to Light Years. Strangely though, I have trouble finding anyone to agree with me on this. A google search led back to this site. Which is a bit insane, because they are very very similar. Have a listen, they ARE THE SAME SONG! They are! I'm pretty sure that Guy Chambers, Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue are all big Wham! fans though, so it's no surprise.
  
LB: About going to a fun summer holiday destination and forgetting all your troubles CT: About going to a fun summer holiday destination and forgetting all your troubles LB: Called Loveboat CT: Called Club Tropicana LB: "Drinks are free" CT "Martinis" LB: "Rub on some lotion" CT: "You can suntan!" LB: "The beach is boring" CT: "All that's missing is the sea" They also sound exactly the same. Suspicious aint it? Yeah! I'm glad to see Michael joining in the spirit of Wham Week. Let's continue on with a good ol' Top Ten list 
Top 10 Best Wham! Songs 1. Wham Rap! - Best moment: 'The boys from Wham will help you reach your goal!' 2. Young Guns (Go For It) - Best moment: 'In return all you could say was 'Hi George, meet my fiance!' 3. Bad Boys - Best moment: 'Good guys, they make rules for fools so get wise do do do do do WOO WOO' 4. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Best moment: 'You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day' 5. Club Tropicana - Best moment: 'You can suntan!' 6. Edge Of Heaven - Best moment: 'Da da da da da da YEAH YEAH YEAH!' 7. I'm Your Man - Best moment: 'If you're gonna do it do it right (right!) do it with me' 8. Freedom - Best moment: 'And you know that I'll forgive you, just this once, twice, forever' 9. Last Christmas - Best moment: '(Happy Christmas) I wrapped it up and sent it' 10. Everything She Wants - Best moment: 'SOMEBODY TELL MEEE!' Michael can you please do yours too? Cos I really want to know. You don't have to do 10. You DO have to include Wham songs only though. I have to specify that or next thing I know you'll be putting in Don't Let The Sun Go Down on me and trying to pass off Elton as Andrew. And I know Aretha Franklin and Freddy Mercury aren't either, so don't bother. Also, this has NOTHING to do with Wham, but how good is this banner on Hmv.com.au? Why are they suddenly promoting Liz? It's stange and good: 
Ridge Over Troubled Waters: 
After He really didn't do anything. At all. Ever. Even Mel C has her purposes (namely, making Melons B look less common, and having tops single covers). Andrew Ridgely was the Michelle Stephenson of Wham!. Down with him. Sunday, July 27
Wham Week Survives In light of some negative comments, I think we should quickly roll on with the positive Wham posts 
Let's address the first issue first Why Wham! Is Better Than George Michael's Solo Work And don't think I don't have coherent, pursuasive arguements. Because I do. First of all, seeing as GM wrote all the Wham! songs, his solo career started years before he went solo. And the Wham songs were the highlight of his entire career, whether officially solo, or still having Andrew along pretending to play the guitar. Facts: When George went solo he: - Got a lot more serious - Stopped wearing silly shirts - Stopped rapping - Eventually started sitting on stools instead of dancing - Pretended Wham never happened George was a great rapper, as illustrated in the seminal Wham Rap (Enjoy What You Do). In those days, you felt he really DID enjoy what he did, even though he probably didn't. He probably wanted to be a serious artist all along. But that's beyond the point. Wham were so pop it wasn't funny, George Michael is so adult contemporary it's not funny. And don't get all spastic on me, George probably spent as much time on Club Tropicana as he did on Jesus To A Child. Choose Rules Well, SOMEONE didn't read the rules of Wham Week correctly. No sarcasm I said! You'd think you could manage it for one week. And Scott, don't think that I didn't notice that Duran Duran are the best band in the world comment. And crazy Claire is banging on about Andrew Ridgeley's solo work. This is just like Oasis Week all over again. When Will I Be Famous? (Never, You're Shit): 
I am aware of the fact that this week should be dedicated to discussing the merits of Wham!, but I am quite distraught as to the new series of Fame Academy, and felt the need to show the British public the error of their ways. The British public always - without fail - vote for the blandest, safest people in reality TV shows. This is why this new series of Fame Academy is rubbish. Already. Because they voted for Gary and Bloody I want to be Delta Goodrem so much it hurts, hence the stupid screwed-up face when I'm singing Louise in favour of The She's The One Boy. Harumph. - George's solo career. Yes, really. - Pepsi and Pepsi's Mate doing backing vocals on Bag It Up. You can't actually hear them, but they are credited on the album cover. Which is nice. - Geri Halliwell. - Shake Your Bootie Cutie. Nothing is better than Wham. I love them Vandalism is illegal, Crystal. 'Good guys, they make rules for fools so get wise!'  To kick off Wham Week, let's firstly talk about the song Bad Boys. I have the 12" of this sitting in front of my stereo, because it has a bonza cover and so that I can see a bit of Wham clearly and at all times.
It is also a very bonza song. It's a bit of a No Good Advice actually....oh my God, look at this, I've just realised the similarities.. No Good Advice 'Daddy told me look into the future...be a good girl...mama said I'd never get to heaven' Bad Boys: 'Dear mummy, dear daddy, you had plans for me I was your only son No Good Advice: 'Shut your mouth' Bad Boys: 'Shut my mouth' No Good Advice: 'I don't need no good advice' Bad Boys: 'Good guys make rules for fools so get wise' Girls Aloud ripped Wham off! I knew it! Flimsy evidence aside, the sentiment of Bad Boys is indentical to No Good Advice, which is what makes it so good. What other Wham discoveries are to come? PLENTY, I'm sure.... Wham Week, Short Intermision I was just looking through some of my old stuff and I found an old song I wrote about 3 years ago called I Know The Reason. There's no way I'm publishing it all because it is SO embarassing, but it's basically about Dancing. It has the spoken word line: 'Just set your mind to extra groove' If anyone knows how you do that, please let me know Yes, It's Finally Arrived... It's Wham! Week! 
It's all Wham!, all week. I have A LOT to say about Wham!, and I hope everyone else does too. There's to be no sarcasm, no proclaiming that Human League or Duran Duran were better, and only minimal talk of George Michael's solo career. Thank you! The I'm not usually one for posting other people's work (unless, of course, I am claiming it as my own), but this little slice of fiction has made my life worth living. Kylie was sacked by PWL around 1991-1992 because she "Wanted too much control over her output and wanted too big a slice of the money" and was replaced by a look-a-like by Pete Waterman (after a successful national competition to find a look-a-like) in an attempt to keep up record sales. Apparently the new "Sexy Kylie" look was more than just style change. "Kylie" as we know her now is actually Susan Williams, an office worker from Lewisham. Disgruntled PWL workers still loyal to Kylie managed to put clues into her records. There is a hidden track on ROL that was the last recording of the "real" Kylie. It is untitled and can only be heard on a PC with suitable software. Other clues include the words "Kylie is a fake" recorded backwards at the end of Give Me Just A Little More Time. Also in the video to Celebration the real Kylie can be seen dressed as an extra waving at the camera. Family and close friends were "payed off" to keep quiet. Michael Hutchence, finding keeping quite a strain, phoned the Herald Sun newspaper in Melbourne to arrange a meeting on 23rd November 1997. He never made that meeting. This Post Has No Title: This website belongs to Ms. Mary Bichner. She is ace. Mary Bichner used to be a solo artist, but now she is not. She has formed a band with her brother and some of her mates. The fact that her brother is in her band makes me wish I had such musically talented (and prettiful) siblings. My brother is nine and raps about his bitches. You should download Off The Hook. It's off the hook (ho!). Saturday, July 26
Paul McCartney  I'm watching a Beatles documentary that I've seen before, I don't know why I'm watching it again, but there's nothing better on. It's notable for a rather amusing disclaimer at the start that goes something like:
'Disclaimer:Paul would like to let it be known that despite what he says during this documentary, he acknowledges there were four Beatles, not just one.' Not exactly, but that's pretty much it. Paul McC then of course spends the whole hour talking about how he was the only one that mattered, and that people only give John Lennon his dues because he's dead. 'Well just cos I don't go around getting myself shot! Where's my credit??' Paul says. Not exactly, but that's pretty much it. Well, do you know what I think McCartney? I think you were the Mel C Of Your Day. Top 5 Mel Cs! 1. Mel C 2. Paul McCartney 3. Kelly Rowland 4. Ronan Keating 5. Katie Underwood You know you're the Mel C of your group if you are one or all of the following: - Overrated - Take attention away from your better bandmates - Have inexplicable musical success - Annoy me up the hill Random Popstars That I Don't Get: - Lemar. But, Michael, he's a fantastic vocalist!. No, he is not. He sounds like he's swallowed a hot sausage, and looks like Simon from Blue. This is not a good thing. - Ashanti. At the risk of sounding like an out-and-out indie boy, all her songs sound the same. And she is shit. Well, there you go. Top Five Really Odd Videos Of The Now: 1. Christina, Can't Hold Us Down, in which Slaggy's stylist appears to have raided the Elizabeth Duke 2. Gareth Gates, Sunshine. I'm not sure whether I'm alone in thinking the man in the Brazil vest is supposed to be Gareth's love interest. It's all a bit Club Tropicana. 3. David Sneddon, attempting to be a rockstar in the new video for Best Of Order. It's not really working, is it, David? 4. Mark Owen's Four Minute Warning. Just because it's rubbish. 5. Lemar off Fame Academy's Dance With You. It's quite hideous. Not-So-Duff By Nature: Your Mom's right - you can't shoot flaming arrows at people's heads, son. I love Lizzie McGuire's Dad. Born Under A Bloody Horrible Song: This horrible website tells lies. It's trying to make me believe that Whitney Houston's dreadful maiming of Saving All My Love For You was number one on the day that I was born, when everybody knows that this is an honour bestode upon Wham!. It's also telling me that I've allowed Jermaine Jackson to share my birthday. Wasn't that nice of me? She's Deed *: 
This, my dear friends, is Dee off Neighbours. She looks like an owl. This week, she marries Toadie, then This may well be the most exciting thing to happen on Neighbours since Taj got his hair cut. When Taj got his hair cut, I got very excited indeed. * - See what I did there? Clever, aren't I? Movies...  For reasons that involved an eight year old being too sick to go to school and a lot of rain, I had to watch The Parent Trap twice yesterday. If you got divorced right, and you had twins, you
WOULDN'T JUST TAKE ONE EACH AND NEVER SEE THE OTHER ONE AGAIN! Would you? No! Some movies are just stupid. Or rather, a lot are. I hardly ever watch them at all really. In fact, I hate three major genres, which I suppose doesn't help. I really really can't stand: 1. Romantic Comedies 2. Horror Movies 3. Teen Movies Why? Romantic Comedies - Despite the name, they are rarely ever comedies. They are so lame I can't stand sitting through them for 90 minutes Especially: Jerry McGuire, One Fine Day, You've Got Mail Might make an exception for: Four Weddings And A Funeral Horror Movies - They scare me! I suppose some people must like paying to think their house is inhabited by ghosts and serial killers, but not me thanks Especially: House On Haunted Hill, The Excorcist Might make an exception for: The Scream movies. But I'd still be pretty scared Teen Movies - I hate both kinds, the gross-out kind and the prom/house party kind. They are just so stupid it's beyond words Especially: American Pie, Road Trip, She's All That, Scary Movie, Can't Hardly Wait Might make an exception for: Non-stupid ones like Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Bring It On, Clueless I tend to just have about 10 movies I watch all the time, and nothing else Crystal's Top 10 Most Bonza Movies In The World! 1. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes - Marilyn Monroe! 2. Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Not going to school! Yay for that! 3. Spiceworld - The Spice Girls! 4. Sabrina Down Under - Straight to video! And Sabrina! In Oz! 5. Spiderman - Go the human spider! 6. Calamity Jane - Doris Day! Singing lesbian cowgirl! 7. Moulin Rouge - Nicole Kidman! 8. Clueless - 1995! Actually, I've run out. SO...there are only 8 movies I like. I must be forgetting some. Except I don't think I am. Ok, there are a few. The only other movies I like, though not enough to put on a list are: - Oceans Eleven - American Beauty - Beauty And The Beast - The Lion King - 8 Mile - Donnie Darko - Muriel's Wedding - Bring It On - The Brady Bunch Movie That's it. I am such a movie hater. Next Weeks TV! If you live in Australia, you're in for the best week of tv, IN YOUR LIVES! Top 5 Best Things About TV Next Week: 1. Australian Idol starts Sunday 2. Alias is back on 3. AND - it's on twice a week! 4. Dee and Toadie get married, and Dee dies 5. The Mole is back for a new series I Saw The Clip For Why Can't I!  How very exciting to see Liz on Video Hits. It's a clip that defines the word bonza. BUT...I was told, in regards to the whole Sounds Like Steps controversy maybe you have to see the clip to get what I mean. Well, I've seen the clip and it reminds me less of Steps than ever before. Anyway, the clip being on VH means that it will be released as a single, which I CAN'T WAIT for. Also, it was slightly different to the album version.
AND, Sinead Quim Fan Number One better stop doing those mean comments about Liz. What do the two even have to do with each other? Mightiness: Hurrah! I've had a shit week, but The Mighty Kurt has cheered me up. Michael, Thank you for the vote of confidence! Kurt music will be available to download in the next month or so, am coinciding it with launch of my website so will have to keep you waiting til then - sorry! Best, Kurt. The best? You know it. People Who Should Go And Live Under A Rock: - Rachel Stevens (you're supposed to get your tits out before you become a popstar). She shall henceforth be known as Idiot Women. - Everybody who works at The Soul-Crushing Factory of Lost Dreams. Except the nice people. Why We Love Sinead Part 78901937: I've got a list the length of my arm, Of all the things I'd love to change, Perfect tits, a pert little ass, And an airbrush for my face. Now and then I pretend that I'm really content, That I'm happy with a 14, When I'd rather be a 10, Starve myself for a day, Then I eat for a week, If I was picture perfect would I feel more complete? Never Happy is tops. I want to be Sinead Quim. She is, quite possibly, a genius. Or at least a bit better than Liz Phair. Friday, July 25
Bardot Were Bonza With Australian Idol starting this Sunday, it's as good a time as any to talk about Bardot 
Bardot were the winners of Popstars 1 and were really quite sucessful as far as Popstars groups go. I would be interested to know if they are the only Popstars act in the entire world to get to a second album, because I think they might be. Bardot's second album was awesome. As were the girls themselves. In a way. <- I really like this pic Bardot Members In Order Of Aceness: 
1. Sophie Monk - There's one word, and that word is Blonde 2. Belinda Chappel - Belinda rules, I hope she gets a solo deal too 3. Tiffany Wood - What a bitch! She never really came off too well during the series. She has now changed her name to 'Tiffani', so as people don't confuse her with, ahem, 'Tiffany', cos 'she's still big in the US.' Is she? And what, you will be too? Hmm.. 4. Sally ..er.. Poleriousnous? Sorry, I can't spell it, or be fucked to look it up. And don't care either cos Sally was an annoying cow 5. Katie Underwood Urgh..she needs her whole own Top 5 List... The Katie Underwood Top 5 (Ways She Was Crap) 1. While Ginger Spice and Nicola Roberts fly the flag for token redhead members in girl groups, Katie Underwood set the movement back several years. She was crap. 2. She was the worst member, with the worst hair, the worst voice, the worst clothes, the worst 'angle' and the worst thing on the entire show. 3. She left before the release of the second album. Hooray!!! She left to be in a production of 'Hair' which never went ahead. Sucked in Katie 4. That didn't stop her though, she went on to torture us with two spastic diso-lite singles with, cringe, Disco Montago. Crap. 5. THEN....she was in...Undercover Angels. Hosted by Ian Thorpe. And with Jackie O. And KATIE UNDERWOOD! One of the most crappiest shows in tv history Crap!: 
ANYWAY, the rest of the Bardot chicks were bonza as. Except Sally. The thing that is for sure then, was that they had some good tunes Top 5 Bardot Songs 1. Dirty Water - A cover of the Made In London song. Bardot's is better and I really like it 2. These Days - Bit of spoken word in this! It's really pretty awesome 3. I Need Somebody - Katie left the group before this was released, and then went on to make two songs exactly like it. Can she get a brain or what? 4. Poison - The first single which of course went straight to number one. It's sort of not very good, but you have to like it if you were caught up in the hype at the time 5. Don't Call Me I'll Call You - Like a really crap Destiny's Child song. But still good The greatest thing about Bardot is that they have PLENTY of hysterical lyrics. Here are the top 10: Top 10 Most Hilarious/Worst/Stupidest Bardot Lyrics The first one is my fave, when Katie has to sing it live in concert she just CRINGES, it's that bad 1. 'I thought you weren't my type, now I believe in love at second sight' 2. 'Your mamma's in my buisness' 3. 'How does it feel for you, being stalked by your very own mum?' 4. 'So what's it gonna be, gonna follow your mum?' 5. 'I'm gonna find a man that's good in bed baby' 6. 'He thinks he's hottie but he's nottie' - The only line on the whole album Tiffany wrote 7. 'Words travel faster than the speed of light' - No they don't actually. The speed of light is considerably higher than the speed of sound 8. 'Nothing else matters in the world today, no the car won't start and there's bills to pay, I've left my summons on the bedroom floor' Alrighty then 9. 'I'm feeling like a rebel today' 10. 'It's writen on the lines here upon my face, I guess I'm just not suited to obedience' I suppose that'd be why you auditioned for Popstars then On the first Bardot album, they go through EVERY musical genre known to man in 40 minutes. There's every single sort of song you could want 
- There's a light rock one - These Days - There's an R&B one - Should've Never Let You Go - There's a spirtual God one - Higher Than Heaven - There's a pure pop one - Poison - There's a disco one - Down - There's a country and western one - What Have You Done? - There's a sickening Westlife type ballad one - Missin' Your Love - There's a motown one - Holding On - There's a latin one - Got Me Where You Want Me There truly is something for everyone. And at the same time there's absolutely nothing. The second album is better though So, can the winner of Australian Idol compare to our premier reality pop act Bardot? I don't think they ever will, somehow Things I have noticed about Ready To Run: Quim's album is tops. - The lyrics in the booklet are handwritten. Like Avril. - But: The back cover of the booklet boasts a collage of candid snaps. This should be made obligatory for anybody who wants to make an album. Ever. - The candid snaps feature Lemar, Pippa, Sinead's brother, Sinead's dog and - bizzarely - Haytch from Steps (or at least somebody who looks a little bit like him). - Sinead ends her Wee Thank You's with, Hope you enjoy listening to this my little chickens. Because she's ace. - Ready To Run, the title track, is lovely, and made me a little bit weepy. - I Can't Break Down sounds like a song from Smack The Pony. I can't remember which one. - Small Town Big Dreams is ace (even if it does sound like it should have been recorded by Billy Evil, Far-Too-Grown-Up-For-His-Age-But-Also-Far-Too-Sheltered, Evil Child Star Gilman). - The CD is pink. I don't like guitars. I don't like girls with guitars. I should hate this album. But I don't! Sinead: Better than Liz Phair. Dilemma (Oh!) feat. Sinead Quim: Having Since the charts are really rubbish at the moment, I didn't hold out much hope. Until my eyes shot across a great shock of Quim. I had a look at her album and noticed that the inlay is pink. This meant I had to buy it. I feel quite bad about it. Because I love it. To bits. Thursday, July 24
Sorry Kylie  I was a bit harsh on Kylie yesterday. It's only because I'm still sick of her and she's a money-grabber. Remember 2002 Kylie? When you made me buy all your singles, tickets to the Fever concert, Fever Special Fucking Edition, the Fever DVD, all your other 20 000 DVDS, and any part of your back catalogue I didn't own? No, didn't think so, too busy sitting on your piles of money.
ANYWAY, I do love Kylie, I really do. Should I celebrate with a series of lists? Yeah, why not... The Definitive Best 10 Songs Kylie Minogue Has Ever Recorded: 1. Can't Get You Out Of My Head - Almost the best song off all time infact 2. Your Disco Needs You - It does 3. Finer Feelings - As CA would agree, one of the most underated songs in history 4. Shocked - WITH the rap! We don't want the version without the rap! 5. Hand On Your Heart - The best of the Crap era 6. Confide In Me - As noted on the Fever doco, it is little a bit like Justify My Love 7. I Should Be So Lucky - The only other 80's Kylie song to get near the top 10 8. What Do I Have To Do - 'My heart is my alibi' Might not hold up in court, but a good line 9. One Boy Girl* - Lies, obviously, as JASON DONAVAN would testify Minogue! 10. Love At First Sight (2001) - Certainly not the '88 one * 'Hey yo Kylie!' 'Mmm hmm?' 'Whatsup with this one boy girl thing?' 'Well...' 'Let me break it down like this!' Top 5 Kylie Videos 1. Can't Get You Out Of My Head - You can't go past it, on account of it's just totally bonza 2. Shocked - There's a pink fluffy skirt! 3. Word Is Out - Prositutes ahoy... 4. It's No Secret - Back to the family sugar plantation* 5. Confide In Me - Different Kylies, before Did It Again which isn't as good *Watch for the bit where she meaningfully throws a stick Where has that stick gone... 
"We hate her even more than the know-it-all-daughter on Gilmore Girls" In celebration of this line from Jack on tonight's Will And Grace, here are the top 10 people WE hate more than Rory Gilmore....it'll be hard actually, she IS annoying.. Top 10 People We Hate More Than The Know-It-All-Daughter On Gilmore Girls: 1. Melanie C 2. Shaggy 3. John Howard 4. Ronan Keating 5. Craig David 6. Boyd Off Neighbours 7. Ashanti 8. All the other HiT journalists 9. The stupid-mom-who-acts-like-a-teenager on Gilmore Girls 10. Will Baker "But..they're not as bad as me!" 
Yeah, you're right actually He DID Give It No Stars! As I predicted several days ago on this blog, Cameron Adams gave Unchained Melody the infamous 'No Stars' verdict. 'No Stars' is only wheeled out in extreme circumstances, but it was well deserved here. Unchained Melody has no redeeming features, and to even give it 1 Star would be a giagantic lie. Cameron Adams Unchained Melody Review:  'UK Pop Idol runner-up Gates was handed this chestnut because research showed it was the UK's most popular karaoke song. This passionless record is corporate karaoke: designed by a committee to make fast money and meet TV deadlines. He doesn't quite embody everything that's wrong with modern music, but he comes close.
no stars' AND, he gave Dead Or Alive 3 Stars, which I predicted as well. And on the Fast Food Song: 'Worst. Song. Ever.' He wrote the exact same thing for the Ketchup Song, but maybe this has taken over. ALSO: Claire's Liz Phair letter was published! How bonza. She'll probably be quite excited and write about it here. What a great HiT day! Yawn: I've been to work today. I'm quite tired, hence the lack of bloggings. I should be back to my usual What Kind Of Fool...: ...Would class Better The Devil You Know, Spinning Around and Step Back In Time as good, but not that good? Answer: Crystal would! Quite frankly, I'm shocked to my very foundations. Wednesday, July 23
It's What I Went To The Shops For...  Except, as I couldn't find it for under $30 000 (or $25) I didn't buy it. So I downloaded it instead. And THANK GOD! That's the worst CD I've heard in a long, long time. I should of listened to my idol Cameron Adams who has given all their singles and the album 1 Star and described them at various times as 'Bros with designer mokawks', 'Three male Avrils' and 'Evil'. Amen to that.
Busted, I say no. Kylie! 
I really just wanted to post a picture of Kylie to combat that Yeah Yeah Yeahs one that's been at the top all day. Kylie's not as fun to make lists about as Madonna. That's cos she's not as good as her. If only Madonna was from Melbourne and had been on Neighbours, we wouldn't even need to bother with Kylie at all. I guess I could do my fave Kylie songs... but there's only a few great (super bonza) ones... maybe we could do tiers..! THE KYLIE TIERS The First Tier: Pink Skirt Tier 
The best Kylie songs, deserving to be on the Pink Skirt level are: Can't Get You Out Of My Head, Your Disco Needs You, Finer Feelings, Shocked, Hand On Your Heart, Confide In Me The Second Tier: Feather Boa Tier 
The Kylie songs that are pretty good, and deserving to be on the Feather Boa Level are: One Boy Girl, Love At First Sight, What Do I Have To Do, Fever, I Should Be So Lucky, Loveboat The Third Tier: Hotpants Tier 
The rest of the Kylie songs that are good, but not that good, and belong on the Hotpants Level are: Better The Devil You Know, Spinning Around, Step Back In Time, Put Yourself In My Place, What Kind Of Fool Flush Them Down The Toilet Kylie: 
Some Kind Of Bliss, Locomotion, Got To Be Certain, Celebration, Please Stay, Come Into My Word, You Can't Be For Real, Surely... At the start of Gareth's new song Sunshine, before the first verse kicks in, there are 38 seconds of him making every single noise in the world. It's comedic. I've listened carefully, and I think this is the exact transcription: 'Yeeeahh.. zeeeee.. na la la la la.. oohh.. moocho ohh.... geugh..eh eh.. ah ah.... ooh whoooah ohhh.....' It would be brilliant if it was someone trying to take the piss out of Michael Jackson/George Michael/Justin Timberlake etc. But it's not, it's Gareth trying to BE them and failing miserably. Oh, the fun never starts with you, does it Gaz? Love Love Love: 
I love Karen O. It's Yeah Yeah Yeahs day here at Michael towers. I'm celebrating it with a top five. 'Cause I can. Top Five Yeah Yeah Yeahs Songs: 1. Porcelain - Quite possibly the least-arsed vocal recording ever. This is why it's tops. It also features the lyric And cool kids they belong together. They do. 2. Maps - Wait! They don't love you like I love you/Maps. Tops. The intro sounds like the theme tune of a popular sporting television show. I couldn't tell you which. 3. Our Time - It's pretty. The Unitard acoustic version of Our Time is tops. 4. Pin - Bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb-bomb/Der-nurgh-der-nurgh-der-nurgh-der-nurgh. I agree. 5. Tick - You look like shit!. When she starts getting hysterical towards the end, I always piss myself laughing. Not literally. Three Bands That I Love But Probably Shouldn't: 1. Unitard - The acoustic division of Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Acoustic music makes me want to eat my own head. 2. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fashionista rock! I always hate the NME's 'Next Big Thing'. Odd, then, that I own every record Yeah Yeah Yeahs have released. And some records that they haven't. 3. Busted - I hate boybands. I hate guitars. Being a boyband with - yes! - guitars, I should hate Busted. But I don't. Flying It may well be a first, but I find myself agreeing with The Mighty Crystal's choice of Madonna songs nobody else likes. I do. I like them all. Borderline would be in my top ten. Top five. Secret, though? Really. Tuesday, July 22
Gareth's Love Pavilion, Literally Gareth has just been on Rove Live. He sung The Worst Song Ever, but he did it accoustically, and it was 40% less crap. I've also downloaded Sunshine. So as not to destroy the positive Gareth mood, I won't comment. (It's not very good) Top 10 Madonna Songs Other People Would Have In Their Worst Madonna Songs But That I Really Like     
1. Take A Bow - I can't understand why I have never met a single person who likes this song. I think it's fantastic, and so is the filmclip 2. Another Suitcase In Another Hall - I love a bit of Another Suitcase In Another Hall. It might not techically be classed as a Madonna song, but her version is totally tops 3. Hanky Panky - I can understand why you'd hate it, but I certainly don't. I love it to death 4. Bad Girl - ...this actually is Mel C's fave Madonna song. So it's just her and me then. Me and Mel C. Mel C and I. Just the two of us. This makes me very sad and affraid 5. Secret - How can people not love this! Crazy... I want to do a cover of it 'mmm mmm..somethings coming over' 6. Amercian Pie - I think it's bonzariffic! People are just trying to be all 'oh she ruined a classic' and cool. She IMPROVED it, that's what she did! 7. American Life - I still stand by my initial opinion that it's great 8. Borderline - It is kinda crap, but I like it 9. Rescue Me - I would say this is the most underated and forgotten Madonna single ever. It's great, it has spoken word and spaz dance bits 10. Oh Father - No-one in the world likes this, I'm sure. And I don't know why, I think it's fab
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THE LATEST CRAZE - MP3 BLOGS!:THANK ME FOR THE MUSIC BANG & BURN INTO THE GROOVE SUPERVIXXEN (Not just mp3s though that one...but digging the Spice vibe)  There are many things that I would like to say to you... WHY NOT CHECK OUT CLAIRE'S FAVOURITE FILM: 'LOVE FOREVER'?  It's all about Blur - and loving them forever! CFBGOESPOP Loves Blur, Hates Oasis. WE.HAVE.PROOF AUSCULTURE Gulity - of being tops! As is: THEIR BIG BROTHER BLOG They've discovered the correlation between Crystal's Love For A Contestant and Likelihood Of Being Voted Out Immediately ZBONZAK Kickin' it old school with a fly '98 tip JONNY'S SITE Possibly written by Ben Affleck. No, definitely. SEX KITTEN Let's stop this religious war guys! Give peace a chance. POPJUSTICE There are no laws at the seaside! I don't know who Sam & Mark are, but I do find that quite hilarious DIRRRTY POP Joining the congregation! SOAP-DISCO Thank you for taking a CA Approved Stance on Morrissey DAMON.COM Some days we're checking out this site, some days we've gone right off Blur again. MORE LINKS TO COME We're not too good for links you know, so please, if you have a site or if I've forgotten it please email the address and I will add it.
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