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ARCHIVES! EMAIL AWAY! STU TAKES US THROUGH HIS FANTASTIC CAREER CHOICES  'Hello, I'm stu - always taking the freeway to success, always following the speed limit. As you can see, I even wear a helmet whilst driving - that's for just a little bit more saftey, which is always the legal way.  One of the happiest times of my life was when I joined the cult of Life Mechanics I soon got into gear and took a seat in the driving lane of life  My friends were all pretty surportive 
Fame at last! It was something of an irony that the colapse of Life Mechanics forced me to live in my car  Now that I was literally in the parking lot of life, I needed a new direction So I joined The Police 
And now I solve all your pop problems - the legal way!
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Sunday, February 29
THE STUPID JOURNALIST AWARDS 2004: Stupidest British Male: Dominic Mohan. George Michael’s long-awaited new CD, Patience, is out next month. And, given that this will be his first proper album in eight years, jolly good it should be too. But what’s this on the track listing? It appears to feature Shoot The Dog, his disastrous anti-Bush rant first released in August 2002 and, excuse me, is that Freeek, a rather forgettable single which dates back two years? By George, surely he hasn’t been struggling for material? What, a popstar who puts two reasonably successful singles on his new album? Absurd! Stupidest British Female: Sue Caroll. Cretinous, ill-educated teenagers gobbing in the street, pouring Hooch down their necks and roaming in gangs like knuckle-trailing Neanderthals terrorising the innocent and elderly. Am I bothered? Do I look bothered? Look at my face. Is it bothered? Are you disrespectin' my family? WHAT'S IN YA BIN?: I'm Going To See Pete On Thursday! Triple J - The World's Worst Radio Station 
It's so hard to describe why Triple J is so evil. But I think what it comes do to is that it is run, and listened to, by that very worst breed of people: People Who Try To Be Cool. Look at this crazy and wacky segment they have on Tuesday nights: 
'What's In Ya Bin?: It sounds weird, but if you're willing to go through your bin and reveal the contents to the nation then Rosie reckons you're hilarious and would love to hear about it on the radio!' And so would we all! Why, what's more hilarious than hearing about what people have in their bins? Nothing! IN FACT, I reckon 'What's In Ya Bin?' is a segment that could take off here! I know it sounds weird! But I reckon it's hilarious! Let's go have a look what's in OUR bin! 
Report: Banana skin, Timeout wrapper, cardboard boxes. That IS hilarous! And wierd! I hate Triple J, you know. QUESTION OF THE DAY We almost forgot about this segment! Today's Question Of The Day, courtesy of the stats: Does Delta Goodrem Have A Boyfriend? 
Short Answer: Yes. Long Answer: Yes, and it's a Love Match. Delta is going out with a certain tennis player who likes to let down his country at important times. They are on the front cover of every single fucking magazine in the country this week, so I hope the person who typed that into google is from somewhere else. NEWS FLASH: HOW DEPRESSING: 
Well, looks like it's nil point again, doesn't it? Those entries in full: Enrapture: 
Who needs a melody when you've got massive hair? Mis-Teeq on a budget. Haifa off Pop Idol: 
Haifa was ace on Pop Idol. It's a shame her song makes me want to damage myself. Hyrise feat. Ant off 3SL: 
Hyrise - Matt, Maxwell, Ben and Lisa Scott-Lee's brother - are set to storm the music scene with their talent, strong personalities and good looks. Now would be a good time to unveil them, lads. Haydon off Ultimate Kaos: 
Well. What a cunt. James off Fame Academy: 
That's not a Eurovision song. He looked very embarassed to be there. Madison Taylor: 
The world's first Hilary Duff tribute act. IN OTHER NEWS: I have to enter BoyTatu into A Song For Europe for next years competition. INDIE THINGS THAT ARE HOT: 
Hot indie boys (see: Ashley from We Start Fires, above); Independant record shops; Hot indie boys in independant record shops; The Radio One Tent at Leeds Festival; That's it. Saturday, February 28
THE INDIE PAVILION: The Benchmark: 
Over at Launch, they reckon there's a genre of music called 'Indie Pop'. Isn't that an oxymoron? By definition, something cannot possibly be both Indie and Pop. But HOW CAN YOU TELL IF SOMETHING IS INDIE OR POP? Well, you can put it to our sister site's two point 'foolproof' test. Just for the sake of the experiment, we'll randomly use....hmm, I dunno...Liz Phair, as an example. Indie Or Pop? The Definitive Test! 1. Does It Sound Like Steps? No. 2. Ok then....well, does it have a jaunty Steps vibe? ....sort of. There we go - foolproof! We've successfully deduced that Liz Phair is in fact pop. You can try the two point test on anything - it always works! Public Service Announcement 
After our favourite show, The Indie Life, got cancelled after two episodes, I started writing angry letters in to the producers. Well, I'm pleased to find out it's returning on Monday, and to make sure they don't chicken out this time we are cracking the whip! No quitting please! In support, (and in response to Michael's post below), we've changed our title, and we promise not to talk too much about pop for the month. Which will be no probs, cos I've got Silverchair fever! Songs I Wish I Didn't Love: 
- Evanenscence: My Immortal - Limp Bizkit: Behind Blue Eyes - Bob The Bachelor: Girlfriend - Westlife: Mandy Songs I Wish I DID Love: - Britney: Toxic - Kylie: Red Blooded Woman What is WRONG with me? I've also revised my views on The Vines Ride after seeing the video. Not that the video's great, by any stretch of the imagination, but it did make the song seem better. THE INDIE PAVILION: - One of AC/DC must be in his late eighties, and still dresses like a schoolboy. Looking like AC/DC is not a good thing. - Jet are a set tuneless, emotionally-stunted, homophobic, mysoginist pricks. Their record is shit. But one of them is hot. - Craig Nicholls is the devil... - ...Silverchair probably love him. - GOOD - BAD INDIE: All the rest. Especially the ones who do 'ironic' pop cover versions. Because they are shit. Friday, February 27
Scandal! Scandal! Wrap your head around THIS, if you will: I was listening to a cd I'd burned of the best songs ever, and one particular song started up. I thought 'When the fuck did I burn From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart onto a cd?' 
WELL - Turns out it was Madonna - Bad Girl! 
They sound EXACTLY the same at the start! It's the scandal that has rocked my world! Anthem For The Year 2000!! 
I totally totally forgot this song existed. I was browsing Hole's Rage Guest Programing songlist, when I saw this song in the top 20 for that week. Oh my God, I loved this song. It really was the Anthem for.... 1999, actually. Courtney Vs The Vines  
Quote Of The Week in HiT was Courtney Love talking about The Vines new single, 'Ride'. I'm not quite sure why it got QOTW, but I think it's because it's a bit non sequitur. Which is nothing unusual for Courtney. Anyway, her wisdom: 'It's a perfectly good pop song but I'm sorry, the Jet song is just so much fucking better. They look like AC/DC. It's a better song!' Huh? Who looks like who? And I wish I knew if she meant looking like AC/DC was a good or bad thing, and why that makes your music better. Or worse. (Plus Jet and The Vines look EXACTLY the same to me.) Anyway, that's not where this issue starts and ends. Smack bang underneath that quote is a paragraph about the new Vines album, saying it's out March 22. I'm vaguely interested, because I secretly loved Get Free and Outathaway. Emphasis on the 'vaguely' though. However, HiT says: First single Ride is already a radio hit. Well, I downloaded it and it SUCKED. And that's not just my opinion, it's a fact. What radio station is a 'hit' on? JJJ probably. Well I've never heard it on the radio, and never want to. Also, the only other people on the planet who speak like Craig Nicholls are the members of The Sleepover Club. And possibly Kylie Minogue. 'She was kind of exciting, A little crazy I should've known' 
This song is just the bonzarest. Top 5 Songs From Reality Pop Show Contestants: 1. Gareth Gates: Anyone Of Us (Stupid Mistake) ( Huge Gap ) 2. Girls Aloud: No Good Advice 3. Clay Aiken: No More Sad Songs 4. Will Young: Leave Right Now 5. Kelly Clarkson: Miss Independent Thursday, February 26
Controlled Folly 
Crazy People Rock y'all With Australian Idol taking over the country, Channel 7 made the very misguided decision to resurrect Popstars. The first ep was last night, and it was so bad I was genuinely embarrassed for 7. It just can't compare to Idol. Everything was SO sub-standard it was cringeworthy. During the shots to people lined up outside for auditions, it was clear that hardly anyone actually showed up. Whereas at Idol auditions there were about....7-10 thousand (is that right?) at each city's auditions, for Popstars it was literally in the dozens. Seriously, Hobart were lucky if they got 50 people. And therefore, ANYONE was getting through to the next round. People Simon Cowell would have crucified were getting through no probs at all. And the auditions were being held in a pub. God, it was HORRIBLE. Worst Ever HiT Cover? 
I hate when HiT pays more attention to the movie side of it than the music side. Today's issue was all about the freaking Oscars and all the articles were about actors or films. The only interesting things were a Courtney Quote, some Pete News and: 'Hot: David Gest & Diana Ross - He's got diva fever, and how could any woman resist him?' Pretty shit overall. Wednesday, February 25
That's What I Like About You Zbornak asked: 'What's next, Mel C on What I Like About You?' And, yes...I'm afraid so! 
She's joining the cast as their long lost sister from Liverpool! And doesn't she look pretty next to Amanda Bynes and Jennie Garth? No, in all seriousness, this would be like Good and Evil combining. I would cry if Melanie ever showed up on my new favourite show. YAY!!!!!!! QUESTION OF THE DAY Everyday people end up here by typing a stupidly phrased question into Google which invariably yields no results, when a simple trip to imdb would answer it in seconds. Everyday we are going to chose one and answer it, passing on some wisdom along the way! It's time for: QUESTION OF THE DAY! Today's Question: 'Is Zack from Saved By The Bell still alive?' 
Short Answer: Yes. Long Answer: Yes he is, and guess what? It's his birthday on Monday! Zack, or Mark-Paul Gosselaar as he goes by these days, will be turning the big 3-0! Happy birthday Mark! Tomorrow when I go through the stats, we'll have another stupid question for you! REASONS TO LOVE THE BBC'S OFFICIAL NEIGHBOURS WEBSITE: TINO!: Tuesday, February 24
THINGS THAT I WANT: 
Clarissa is my idol. TOP FIVE CHILDREN'S TV THEME TUNES EVER: 1. Round The Twist. 2. Clarissa Explains It All - 'Way Cool!'. 3. The Lizzie McGuire Show. 4. Jem and The Misfits. 5. Tracey Beaker. I KNEW YOU WERE TURNING ONE...: 
...so I baked you a beautiful blue birthday cake! Happy First Anniversary to Claire, Alyson, Jessica, Hector The Booty Inspector and Tina T! Hey, look, it's Clarissa, come to 
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you - Way Cool!, Happy Birthday to The Pop - Alright!, Happy Birthday to you - Just Do It!. Monday, February 23
WHO'S BUSTED?: 
Congratulations are in order for Busted, for having the first number one of 2004 that doesn't make me want to douse my head in acid so as I never have to hear music again. TOP FIVE ACE THINGS ABOUT 'WHO'S DAVID': 1. James. 2. 'So go live in the house of David if you like...' 3. '...But make sure he don't know Peter, John or Mike!' 4. The chorus. It's ace. 5. 'Where Is Love?'. Comical. OH DEAREST GOD: 
Alyson is enthusing over Polish Alex's new single, 'I'm Still Alive', and with good reason! It's a fantastic slice of glittery girly guitar pop which should go to number one in every country ever, but won't, because Polish Alex has an accent and is a tiny bit eccentric. IN OTHER IDOLS NEWS: I sent away an application for an application this morning. I know. Pop Idol is shit, because the British public only like middle class boys in nice jumpers, or fat ladies, but it's the only way I have of getting my foot in the door without having to spend any money. Wish me luck! Why Hasn't Clay Aiken Released Here? I know is the question on everyone's lips. 
I want to see a bit of down under Clay action so that No More Sad Songs can be released and everyone can know what I do: that it's a fucking bonza of a song. We've had enough crap from Gareth, Will, Kelly and I suppose soon the AI3 winner, so why not? WOAH! THERE GOES GRAVITY: 
Tonight, on Back To Reality, Lady Ricardo - that's what five have, rather creatively, taken to calling Ricardo off The Salon in drag - threw a giantic diva strop, and managed to make enemies with most of the housemates (and, I imagine, the British public) and destroy the kitchen, before flinging himself into the hot tub outside and de-dragging, emerging - wigless and water-drenched - in his bra and pants. Tomorrow, on Back To Reality, Ricardo will probably get thrown out, despite the fact that he is a Massive Legend who makes for incredible TV, because the British public are rubbish and don't know what's good for them. IN OTHER TV NEWS: Much to my distress, I missed a good half of the feature-length episode of Tracey Beaker this afternoon. Should anybody have any news of it being release on DVD or being repeated, please, get in touch. Sunday, February 22
FILTHY: Hanson - The Best Boyband That Isn't Dream Street Or NSYNC In The History Of The World Ever - have covered 'Dirrty'. It needs to be heard to be beleived. You can download it here. More Neighbours Music A little while back, I bought this album on impulse, without knowing who the artist was, or what kind of music she sang: 
Afterwards, I looked up some information on her, and discovered she was Australian, had a connection to Pete Murray, AND....on Friday night a song from the album was soundtracking Karl and Susan's divorce. Isn't that weird? I sure have good psychic music powers. (I didn't really like the album that much, but now that it's Neighbours approved I vow to give it another chance.) Saturday, February 21
'Born, '82, there's only one of me' Millsy The Movie Star. Apparently Millsy (pictured below with Courtney Act during their awesome 'Kids' performance), is becoming a film star. 
Note, I am not making this up: 'It's called G'Day LA'. I think that film's already been made: 
Anyway, like I say, I am not making this up: 'The plot centers around a camel race'. Ok, what that's got to do with saying G'day to LA I have no idea. And it sounds bloody terrible. BLONDE AMBITION: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO...?: 
In another completely useless, half-arsed feature, The Love Pavilion brings you 'What the fuck happened to...Saxon Garvey?'. Earlier today, So, in conclusion, what the fuck happened to Saxon Garvey? Answers in an e-mail, please! There'll be PETE MURRAY - THE NEIGHBOURS SOUNDTRACK: Since the folks at Neighbours Music Central have been using 'So Beautiful' to soundtrack Friday, February 20
Jail House Rock GUESS who's coming back to our screens sometime in late June? 
DARCY!! This is great, because Darcy is one of the few Neighbours characters I actually like (such as Boyd, Sky), rather than like because they're crap (Stu, Taj). I assume he's getting out of Jail, but I have no idea what's going to happen once he returns. But one thing's for sure, it will be bonza. Pete News! 
Next single will be Bail Me Out. This is very exciting because it is the best song on the album after So Beautiful. Put your album on and give it a listen to celebrate! Thursday, February 19
It's Time For The Requisite Post About: 
Really wasn't a very good issue, but I can't blame the HiT crew for there being nothing good out this week to review. They did give us this terrifying warning though, and I feel we should pass it on: There is a new Human Nature album out soon! Apparently, Darren Hayes has worked on it. Why, Darren? Kylie's Kool-O-Meter 
Today it's a real life Kool-O-Meter as Kylie judges The Darkness: 
This is an actual quote, so yes, it's her normal stupidity: 'The Darkness. I absolutely love them. I've had that sensibility for ages, so it was a great relief when they came out.' Was it? Well, I'm glad Kylie's...'relieved'....I guess. God she's dumb. Anyway, going by that quote and Kylie's love of whatever's cool at the moment, I'm guessing The Darkness will get quite a high reading on the Kool-O-Meter: 
As cool as the Black Eyed Peas, not as cool as Outkast, according to Kylie. Wednesday, February 18
'The clothes that you wear, and the colour in your hair...' New Segment: 
Kylie decides whether you're as cool as Outkast, or as daggy as Jason Donovan! Today, being judged by the Kool-O-Meter, we have our very own Oz Idol, Guy Sebastian:  Kylie says:
'I like Guy. In this picture he is wearing some cool sunglasses - I'm 'digging it'! Guy is doing R&B, which is a very cool genre to do, I should know! However, Guy is not as cool as the very very cool Outkast or the very cool Black Eyed Peas.' Guy's Kool-O-Meter Reading: 
Tomorrow: Who will be judged by the Kool-O-Meter next? Wait and see!
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THE LATEST CRAZE - MP3 BLOGS!:THANK ME FOR THE MUSIC BANG & BURN INTO THE GROOVE SUPERVIXXEN (Not just mp3s though that one...but digging the Spice vibe)  There are many things that I would like to say to you... WHY NOT CHECK OUT CLAIRE'S FAVOURITE FILM: 'LOVE FOREVER'?  It's all about Blur - and loving them forever! CFBGOESPOP Loves Blur, Hates Oasis. WE.HAVE.PROOF AUSCULTURE Gulity - of being tops! As is: THEIR BIG BROTHER BLOG They've discovered the correlation between Crystal's Love For A Contestant and Likelihood Of Being Voted Out Immediately ZBONZAK Kickin' it old school with a fly '98 tip JONNY'S SITE Possibly written by Ben Affleck. No, definitely. SEX KITTEN Let's stop this religious war guys! Give peace a chance. POPJUSTICE There are no laws at the seaside! I don't know who Sam & Mark are, but I do find that quite hilarious DIRRRTY POP Joining the congregation! SOAP-DISCO Thank you for taking a CA Approved Stance on Morrissey DAMON.COM Some days we're checking out this site, some days we've gone right off Blur again. MORE LINKS TO COME We're not too good for links you know, so please, if you have a site or if I've forgotten it please email the address and I will add it.
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