Tonight, on Back To Reality, Lady Ricardo - that's what five have, rather creatively, taken to calling Ricardo off The Salon in drag - threw a giantic diva strop, and managed to make enemies with most of the housemates (and, I imagine, the British public) and destroy the kitchen, before flinging himself into the hot tub outside and de-dragging, emerging - wigless and water-drenched - in his bra and pants.

Tomorrow, on Back To Reality, Ricardo will probably get thrown out, despite the fact that he is a Massive Legend who makes for incredible TV, because the British public are rubbish and don't know what's good for them.

IN OTHER TV NEWS:

Much to my distress, I missed a good half of the feature-length episode of Tracey Beaker this afternoon. Should anybody have any news of it being release on DVD or being repeated, please, get in touch.