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ARCHIVES! EMAIL AWAY! STU TAKES US THROUGH HIS FANTASTIC CAREER CHOICES  'Hello, I'm stu - always taking the freeway to success, always following the speed limit. As you can see, I even wear a helmet whilst driving - that's for just a little bit more saftey, which is always the legal way.  One of the happiest times of my life was when I joined the cult of Life Mechanics I soon got into gear and took a seat in the driving lane of life  My friends were all pretty surportive 
Fame at last! It was something of an irony that the colapse of Life Mechanics forced me to live in my car  Now that I was literally in the parking lot of life, I needed a new direction So I joined The Police 
And now I solve all your pop problems - the legal way!
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Friday, October 31
What the hell is up with Halloween? We don't even celebrate this 'holiday', and yet it stopped Lizzie McGuire from being on today. There was some 'Halloween cartoon' on instead. I was not impressed. Ah well, to get in the spirit, here's a truly terrifying picture of Gordo's hair 
SO LITTLE TIME: Mary-Kate and Ashley are usually rubbish, because they want to be Hilary Duff, but clearly aren't as good. But this morning, on So Little Time, The Sensible One was helping out at an old people's home, and thought she was killing all the old people. She was calling herself The Angel of Death. Her Dad asked, Have you gone goth?. This probably isn't as hilarious as I seem to think it is. Edit: All this twin-on-twin action has me pining for the glory days of Sister, Sister. RE: Hats: Not many people are blessed with Miranda's style and panache, though. IN OTHER NEWS: Whilst we're on the subject of style and panache, today I'm wearing a black shirt with little white dots on it, like Alfie Moon from Eastenders, with a red-and-white polka-dotted tie like Minnie Mouse. I haven't done my hair. I think I look ace. Best. Neighbours. Moment. Ever. Taj moved into the Kennedy's tonight. Karl took his bags and showed him to his room: "Right, it's just through here, you'll be sleeping with Libby... er, I mean..." Classic comedy going down on Neigbours tonight. (Also, the Tuckers are moving into Ramsay St too...how werd that Taj and Nina both finally get to move into the world's most bonza street on the same day) Hats LEAVE RIGHT NOW: TOP FIVE POSH PEOPLE EVER: 
1. Jamie - Jamie, bless him, has a way with words, such a way that has deemed him worthy of his own online column over at lowculture. He looks a bit like Matt from One True Voice, only heaps more buff, and has a nice new top (a nice new top which, upon viewing the evidence, looks a lot better when he takes it off). 2. Sophie - Sophie is a Godess. She might even be better than Geri. In fact, she is better than Geri. That's how much I love Shoot From The Hip. 3. Steven Perkins - Steven Perkins has a nice accent, and can swear. And is proper buff. 4. Daisy Donovan - The new series of Daisy, Daisy starts this evening. If you don't watch it, you will burn in a firey pit of death. 5. Joanna Lumley - The new series of Absolutely Fabulous isn't rubbish. It has Emma in it! Thursday, October 30
Giant Legends Equation HIT 
Cameron Adams finally returned to HiT last week, but he was gone for a long time and I'm still not sure he's back for good. We all sincerely hope so though. This week's was very good. Now, I hate to be presumptuous, but in the Hot & Not section there was this: Paulini: She's phat, not fat. It could be one of three options: 1. It's a shout out to his biggest fan (me) 2. He's ripped off my fabulous use of homonyms 3. It's just a coincidence Either way, Adams..... I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST! No, I'm just kidding CA, it's not like I don't spend half my time ripping you off. I think it's time for a Cameron Adams review, from last weeks mag: 
Sophie Ellis Bextor: Mixed Up World: 'It's more bonza than Sky from Neighbours!' Kidding. Again. Ok, the real review: 'Local radio doesn't like it, but if you don't like Sophie you don't like clever pop. Mixing Human League synth action with a great chorus equals class for the charts. 3 and 1/2 stars' Oh, and this week there's a great review for the Oz Idol cast album. I'd type it up if I could be stuffed, but as it stands I can't. DISTRESSING NEWS: My mum has just told me I look like a cross between the fat one from The Brodie Armstrong Band, some twatty indie-dancing lunatic and Ryan Adams. I am deeply, deeply depressed. Wednesday, October 29
SWEPT AWAY: Yet I'm still very, very tempted. I'M BREATHLESS: (No, well if it's not an ALERT it doesn't count - Crystal) The first series of Pop Idol soured Hanky Panky for me - more than one delightful young lady thought it highly amusing to sing the first verse, then bend over the side of the judges desk when they sang I don't want you to thank me, you can just spank me, in a sexless sexy voice. (That's hilarious - Crystal) Songs about bizarre sexual fetishes - they're just wrong. (No, they're right - Crystal) I'm not sure I've ever listened to He's A Man - Sooner Or Later is tops, so I always skip the first song. Vogue doesn't belong on I'm Breathless - I get the feeling they panicked and tacked it on at the end just before they sent it away for pressing. Fuck, we're going to need a hit!. It makes a lot more sense being on Immaculate Collection. More is ace, especially the lines, Got my diamonds, got my yacht, got a guy I adore/I'm so happy with what I've got/As long as it's more. This song speaks to me on many, many levels. Back In Business is shit. (No, it's bonza - Crystal) ALERT: This is still great ALERT: This album IS good 
I love I'm Breathless. What nonsense, 'only four good songs'. There are six. Top 6 I'm Breathless Songs: 1. Hanky Panky - One of the greatest songs ever. 2. Vogue - This is too actually 3. Back In Business 4. He's A Man 5. More 6. Sooner Or Later Brilliant, brilliant album. DAISY, DAISY: The new series of Daisy, Daisy starts on Thursday. What with Daisy Donovan's return, Sophie's new album, and the strange things that are happening to my accent at the moment, I'd like to announce this week Posh People Week. Go forth, embrace your inner posh person, and forget The Evil Beckham Woman ever exsisted. ALERT: This might be the best album ever made 
It's even better than Read My Lips, and that was ace! Top Five Songs Off Of Shoot From The Hip: 1. Let's Get Physical - Yes, that one. It makes a lot more sense when you hear it. Hearing Sophie sing the bit about the animal in me gives me a funny feeling in my throat. 2. I Am Not Good At Not Getting What I Want - Songs with long titles are always ace. Unless they are not. 3. I Won't Change You - The second single, with some of the greatest lyrics ever written. Ever. 4. Hello, Hello - Sounds nothing like a Sophie Ellis-Bextor song, a fact which, ordinarily, would be rubbish. But it is not. 5. The rest of them - because I couldn't possibly decide. Top One Song Which Is Not Featured On The Album: 1. The Earth Shook The Devil's Hand. ALERT: This was never that good to begin with Tuesday, October 28
ALERT: This is still great Monday, October 27
Trouble In Ramsay St 
Sky and cousin Serena were getting into all sorts of trouble tonight, those naughty children. Sky did something which, to be fair, was quite bad, but Harold went way overboard with her punishment. WORST PUNISHMENT EVER: Harold: 'No movies, no shopping and no Boyd!' Dear God. Poor poor Sky. Anyway, up next was that sneaky little minx Serena. She skipped her classes at her own school, (which Sky hilariously refered to as 'Eden Hills 90210') to perve on Taj running a race. ( FYI, Taj runs like a girl.) She gets sprung though. And what's her punishment? She's being sent to Erinsborough High! Gees, that's a bit harsh on poor old Erinsborough High. I know it only has two classrooms and one teacher and you're only allowed to talk to people who live in your street, but it's not a prison. Also, Izzy is a psychotic bitch. I think she's going to kill Sky.... really. WORST IDOL EVER Eurgh, Big Band Night sucked. Definitely the worst theme night so far. It was boring, dull, and badly sung. The best part of the night was when James threw to the ad break with 'It's time to watch some commercials!' Hee. Ads are fun. Here's a critique of everyone's performance last night, from the hosts to the judges to the contestants: James: 
Quote of the night with It's time to watch some commercials, and wore a nice pink shirt. Much more entertaining than any of the contestants. Top marks Jim. Andrew: 
Andrew is great because he always says tops and heaps. Last night he said something was heaps good, which was a winner in my book. A good night for young Andrew. Cosima: 
Right - I totally hate Cosima now. It was the bad grammar and the embarrassing sucking up to John Farnham at the Arias. And she is so far up herself it's not funny. Last night she wore a ridiculous oversized suit and sang some pretty crap songs too. She'll probably go home tonight. (We HOPE) Dicko: 
After calling Paulini the fattest girl in all the world last week, he was so sucking up to her last night 'you look SO beautiful.' He said that five times. Quite pathetic really. (Plus....ok, I know this sounds bad, and I love her, but I though Paulini looked more of a heifer this week) Guy: 
I know I said I loved him yesterday, and that he was my homeboy, but I can't stand him now. It was his birthday yesterday, which I think they may of told us once or twice. He blew Big Band, even though the judges all drooled over him as per usual. I thought he was rubbish. Marcia: 
Marcia was class last night. She might be back in the good books. Mark: 
Mark got SUCH bad press yesterday (and all week really) and was really trying to tone down his comments. The audience were really hating him. But he still managed to try out a new phrase 'Go the pro!', said 'Bling Bling' and shouted his classic 'Touchdown!' A very bonza night for him. Paulini 
Paulini DID look very pretty last night, despite my earlier comment. And she sung SO well. She's just the best by a mile and has to win. Shannon 
I've NEVER liked Shannon but last night he blew the roof off with New York, New York. Start spreadin' the news, Shannon's back in town! (Unless he goes tonight, of which there's every chance) And there we have it. Sunday, October 26
OZ IDOL 
We're very excited about Big Band night tonight on Australian Idol. Oh wait, no we're not. The theme nights have been pretty uninspired really. 70's, 80s', Number 1 hits, R&B... Oh, and let's not forget the triumph that was All Australian night. I think Big Band band night will be even worse than that though. It will stuff all of them up, especially my homeboy Guy. Plus, I still would of preferred to see this: 
But hey, this isn't a perfect world. Friday, October 24
BRITNEY - FORGIVEN 
I've heard Everytime. Asides from the fact that her voice is horrible at the start of it, it is giving me hope for the album. It's quite a bit similar to Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman (which I LOVE), and has to be about Justin. There are really sad bits in it and it is her best Top 5 Britney Ballads: 1. Everytime 2. Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman Oh. That's all. That's because SHE CAN'T SING. Or dress. God she wears some ugly clothes. But that's besides the point, she's back in the good books now. Pop Equation  +  +  = 
I've proved to have zero willpower when it comes to downloading Kylie songs, as I've downloaded every one that's available. I love Slow and Secret, but I'm a bit shocked at Red Blooded Woman. The reason being: It sounds a bit like Cry Me A River and a bit like an Aaliyah song, but mostly... It sounds EXACTLY like a Victoria Beckham song. You wouldn't even think Victoria had a 'sound', but she clearly does, because that's the only way to describe it. If you told me this was a new VB single or a reject from her album, I'd totally believe you. It's the freakin' and ride wit you's I think. Yes, Kylie's from the ghetto now. I really never thought she'd go this R&B. That's not to say it's not good though. Afterall - we love Victoria! AND, AND - Guess what she sings in the song? - 'You got me Spinning Around' ...... - 'La la la la la la la la'. How awesome! Thursday, October 23
THE HOT LIST: I've not done a hot list for a little while - this is because my computer is broken, and I've been blogging from the public library all week (just for the record, it's half-term next week - you shouldn't worry about me, should I appear dead). Things That Are Hot: Being miserable; Being a lipstick lesbian. Things That Are Not: Not having any money, or a job, or any EMA, having skived school all week to go clubbing; The club scene in Newcastle; Newcastle itself, for being rubbish, and only catering for the lowest common denominator. Things That Are, I'm Afraid, Deeply Disappointing, Despite Featuring Songs Written By Emma, And Performed By Calvinate: Sundown. ME FOR THE MUSIC: The Me Against The Music video may well prove the highlight of Britney's There's a point in the video where Britney - dressed in a hat identical to Justin's - starts dancing in a way that is identical to And it knocks spots of Slow. TAJ IS MOVING INTO THE KENNEDY'S Me Against The Music Video 
I'm only mean to Britney because I love her. Cruel to be kind you know. She can do better than the shit-fest that is Me Against The Music. But, the question remains - Can she do better than the bonza-fest that is the Me Against The Music video? The answer is - probably not! It's pretty damn good. First of all though: Questions: - Why are they running through a maze made out of Venetian blinds? 
- I like Britney's outfit for the most part, but why on earth is she wearing a collar made of blue plastic? 
- Why is Madonna trying to wee on someone's head? 
Ok, THE GOOD THINGS: - Britney's hat - Her face on the soda lid - Britney's dancing - The bit where they're on different sides of wall - Madonna's dancing on the bed frame - Madonna in general being a lot less cringeworthy than I thought she would be. Couple Of Bad Things: - Madonna's spastic humping - Britney's hair - The almost kiss All in all though, it's definately great. NEW 'Best Neighbours Couple Ever' Jack and Izzy. 
  I know at various stages of the year we've claimed both Taj & Libby and Sky & Boyd to be the 'Best Neighbours couple ever', but now they both have to step aside for Jack & Izzy. Jack & Izzy combine both the scandal of Taj & Libby and the fun of Sky & Boyd, making them a sort of super couple. It's also fairly obvious that they've given Jack the nickname 'Love Doctor' so that other characters will think Izzy's having an affair with Karl. Which THEY DO. Wires have been crossed, and conclusions have been jumped to. Bless Jack and Izzy for this thoroughly bonza storyline.
Wednesday, October 22
WHY NOT?: A certain somebody seems to think that JUST WHY?: Susanne off Pop Idol is quite tops, but obviously not as tops as Sam. Where Susanne has a pearl necklace, Sam has a willy, and a willy will always work in your favour if I am to love you (unless you are Geri, or Madonna, or Kylie, or Britney, or Karen O, or Bjork, or Kate). Top Five Reasons Why Sam Is Ace: 1. He looks like James off Busted - this is, officially, a good thing. 2. He has a willy. 3. He sang Walking In Memphis. 4. He has more of a rock voice, according to Simon and Nikki - I found this hysterical, especially given that Simon and Nikki are the same people who look after Amy Not Very Good Studt - hard to the core! 5. He is the only person in the world who likes Jamie Oliver. Marcia, Dicko, Holden - Who Is The Most 'The Bomb'?   
There's hardly been a more entertaining bunch of people on tv this year than the Oz Idol judges. Our favourite changes every week, first we loved Marcia, then we loved Dicko, and now it's all about Marky Mark Holden. But just which one IS the most The Bomb? 1. Marcia Hines: 
Fave sayings: 'Girlfriend, you got it going on', 'You're the bomb' Things that make her the bomb: Ever-alternating hairstyles, her words of wisdom and encouragement Things that make her not the bomb: Boring, too nice, crazy eye glares, mothered Deni Hines Bomb Rating: 5/10 2. Ian Dickson: 
Fave Sayings: 'That was rubbish,' 'You're a fat pig' (paraphrased) Things that make him the bomb: Honest, sometimes very harsh, likes the interesting constestants, hates Craig David Things that make him not the bomb: Calls Savage Garden insulting names, sometimes seems to be mean for the sake of being mean, bad puns Bomb Rating: 7/10 3. Mark Holden: 
Fave Sayings: 'You're the bomb dude', 'Touchdown!', 'That was mighty mighty' Things that make him the bomb: Wears the bling bling, has the best comments ever, likes Selwyn, is so un-cool he's positively hip Things that make him not the bomb: His music career, wrote and produced 'Rise Up', was mean to Levi Bomb Rating: 9/10 And there we have it - Mark Holden is the most the bomb! Congats Mark! Guy And Paulini (At The Arias) 
The two Hilary Duff was there as well. For what reason I've no idea, and I thought her hair and outfit were a bit yuck. 
I've just downloaded an MP3 of Darren Hayes Lost Without You and I still can't get over how good it is. I think it's better than Delta's version. I think Darren Hayes is a really awesome singer. Tuesday, October 21
And Now It's Come Full Circle Darren Hayes, now and forever the King Of Cool, performed a very special version of Delta Goodrem's Lost Without You at the ARIAs tonight. It was an awesomely bonza moment when at the end Delta burst into tears. He did look....erm.. 
My Top 5 Aria Moments: 1. Darren's version of lost Lost Without You, and the tears. 2. Marcia Hines: 'If Australia took music as seriously as it takes sport, it'd be the bomb'. Just be totally random next time why don't you, Marcia. 3. After her 5th Aria win, Delta gets up to accept it, bursts into tears (yeah again), can't speak, and it just cuts to a break! It was quite bizzare. 4. And then - after her 6th win, she just stayed in her seat! I found all this highly hysterical. 5. Ha! Mercury 4 were nominated! Hahahahaha!
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THE LATEST CRAZE - MP3 BLOGS!:THANK ME FOR THE MUSIC BANG & BURN INTO THE GROOVE SUPERVIXXEN (Not just mp3s though that one...but digging the Spice vibe)  There are many things that I would like to say to you... WHY NOT CHECK OUT CLAIRE'S FAVOURITE FILM: 'LOVE FOREVER'?  It's all about Blur - and loving them forever! CFBGOESPOP Loves Blur, Hates Oasis. WE.HAVE.PROOF AUSCULTURE Gulity - of being tops! As is: THEIR BIG BROTHER BLOG They've discovered the correlation between Crystal's Love For A Contestant and Likelihood Of Being Voted Out Immediately ZBONZAK Kickin' it old school with a fly '98 tip JONNY'S SITE Possibly written by Ben Affleck. No, definitely. SEX KITTEN Let's stop this religious war guys! Give peace a chance. POPJUSTICE There are no laws at the seaside! I don't know who Sam & Mark are, but I do find that quite hilarious DIRRRTY POP Joining the congregation! SOAP-DISCO Thank you for taking a CA Approved Stance on Morrissey DAMON.COM Some days we're checking out this site, some days we've gone right off Blur again. MORE LINKS TO COME We're not too good for links you know, so please, if you have a site or if I've forgotten it please email the address and I will add it.
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