Erotica is so good it's taken us two days to prepare the review.

Think I'm joking? Well, yeah it didn't take two days, but Erotica IS that good. It is one of only 5 TRUE Five Dog Albums ever.

The thing is, both of us have already done track-by-track reviews of Erotica.

First of all, there was Michael's - which was completely, 100% wrong.

Then there was mine - done in a post I rather fantastically titled 'Extreme Erotica Appreciation', a whole entire 14 months before it's time. Now, while my review was completely correct at the time, I will now go through the album and bring it up to date, and add some dogs.



1. Erotica
CLASS all the way.


2. Fever
Look, this song is the ONE complaint I have about the whole album. It would be so much better if it just wasn't here. But anyway, we have to deal with it.


3. Bye Bye Baby
'I know I love you, because I hate you'. That line is a little bit how I feel about this song. It's on one hand terrible, and on the other brilliant.


4. Deeper And Deeper
One of my most absolute favourite Madonna songs ever. Not least because she references her own song by singing a bit of Vogue at the end.


5. Where Life Begins
All the verses are spoken!! That's enough for me.


6. Bad Girl
Comes with the Mel C seal of approval, which says a lot

(No, in all seriousness, Bad Girl is a classic)

7. Waiting
Probably just a bit too hip-hop and hardcore for me, but I still love it. Heaps more spoken parts here, and a rap bit.


8. Thief Of Hearts
A bit reminiscent of 'Rescue Me', in a way.


9. Words
I LOVE Words. And I am the Only.Person.On.The.Planet. Which I just can't understand...it's makes me question society.


10. Rain
Ok, this is a tough call...but I would probably say Rain is my favourite song on the album. The reasons Rain is one of the greatest songs ever are too many and varied to go into here, but I WILL honor it by giving it the world's first bonus Sixth Dog. Call me a fool, but I know I'm not I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top


In fact - Exclusive News: Rain will be receiving it's own special review shortly.

11. Why's It So Hard?
Not since the time she asked that OTHER question - Where's The Party? - has Madonna sung about 'challenging the system' so well.


12. In This Life
Ignore my old review of this, because I think I wrote that in the era I was a bit anti-ballad. And now I am very much pro.


13. Did You Do It?
Ok, I can get away with giving this Zero Dogs, because it's just a 'Waiting' remix, with rappers, and hardly any Madonna on it.

14. Secret Garden
Finishing off one the most bonza albums EVER, with...well, a bit of an average song really. But I still like it.



As you might know by now, I really can't give Erotica enough praise. It's one of the most underrated albums that has ever been made, and it is a work of genius.