STOP THE MADNESS!!! EXTREME EROTICA APPRECIATION!



I am being attacked from all angles about my Erotica lovin'. I feel like Madonna herself circa '92. In two years time I may release a song explaining it's just human nature, but for now I have to explain why is is the greatest Madonna album ever you lunatics.

First of all, Scott, it is NOT the first Madonna album I ever got into. Infact, I hated it when I first bought it, and it took me about 4 months to love it to death. So that throws that theory out the window.

Anyway, Erotica is a piece of art. Nothing less. It's from 92', it has spoken word, dodgy rappers (if you have the uncensored version), a bit of dsico, sex, heartbreak, kick-ass lyrics, excellent production and just top rate Pop songs.

Crystal's Track By Track Review Of Erotica (Which actually counts)

Erotica The remix IS better, Michaels right, but Erotica rules nonetheless. Theres just too much spoken word enjoyment to comprehend in this song. "Give it up, do as I say". We sure will.
Fever Normally I would just say Shit, and move on, but as I'm defending the album, it's not all that bad. The album version is better than the video version too, so at least on the album it's bearable.
Bye Bye Baby Um, I don't actually like this that much lol. It's good, but not a favourite. The bit that comes straight after the Bye Bye Baby bits is the best, when it gets all fast.
Deeper And Deeper How the fuck can people not like this?!! It's one of her best ever. The bridge is superb, and the chorus rocks. And there's a Vogue reference! (cos it rips it of, but anyway) Deeper And Deeper was my fave ever Madonna for a long time, and it's nothing less than Bonza.
Where Life Begins Ah, spoken word is back big time here! This song is pretty dirty, it's the only one which actually is and was deserving of all the critism at the time. But it's fantastic. The chorus is REALLY well produced, thanks Shep, and just rocks the stereo. (And the world)
Bad Girl Argh!! Best song on the album, SO not derserving of being a giant flop, it is a giant classic. The way it starts, and kicks into the first verse is just like magic. And the bridge is SOOOO massively super bonza, I can't quite believe it. (Though I will admit the lyrics in the chorus are a bit dodge)
Waiting Ohhh, this is so good. The rappy bit she does "I knew form the start that you would desert me, you're gonna break my heart baby please don't hurt me" is ace to the max.
Thief Of Hearts Hilarity this is. The lyics, haha. "Ho-maker" Good usage of the word Bitch too.
Words Words is so great it's not funny. Find me another song that sounds like this in the world. The chorus is crazy, there's some wierd instrumenty thingy running through it which is so tops. the way she sings "They're only words unless they're true" is what makes her Our Glorious Leader.
Rain Oh My God, this is a fucking fantasic song. EVERY bit of it is good, it is so not average....beautiful, sublime and magnificent would be more accurate.
Why's It So Hard "Brothers, sisters, why can't we learn to, challenge the system, before it's too late?" A bit laughable, yes, but stil super excellent.
In This Life Telling stories in verses. Very Marky Mark. Good intentions this song has, but the chorus is a bit off...dunno, it's just not right. It's still good though.
Secret GardenHmm..Spoken Word Madonna is usually the best kind, but the verses in this aren't very good. The chorus is super fine though.
Did You Do It? Michael obviously doesn't have the verison with this on it It's basically a Waiting reprise, with '92 rappers doing what Madonna isn't. Singing on the track. A big pile of poo.

To sum up, Erotica is a 5 Star victory from the greatest female artist who has ever inhabited the planet. A classic album which is a work of genius.