I lost my erection for a while back there - all of this Madonna appreciation has been a bit too extreme for my entirely vanilla tastes - but now that Fly Girl C and her pal, WOMP, have gotten Madonna's 'What was she thinking?'-era over and done with, we can get into the groove and start officially reviewing the holy trinity of Madonna albums...

Ray Of Light - The Official Review:

Ray Of Light, of course, isn't the holiest of the albums in the holy trinity in that it's not nearly as good as Music or American Life, but it is very holy, both in quality and in content.

Everybody knows that the title track is amongst Madonna's greatest hits, but what most people don't know is that 'Drowned World/Substitute For Love' is actually better than 'Ray Of Light' - even if it is Madonna being worldly and angsty, she does it very well, and the middle eight where it all goes a bit spaztastic is incredible.

'Candy Perfume Girl' is, and has been for a while, my favourite song on the album - there's something delightfully perverse about Our Glorious Leader opening a song with, 'Young velvet porcelain boy/Debour me', and, again, the spaztastic middle eight - 'Did! I! Lie! To! You!' - is fantastic.

It sags a bit in the middle, which is where it's flawed - with the exception of 'Nothing Really Matters' and the sheer shit show of 'Shanti Shinga' or whatever it's called, everything starts to sound a bit samey. But 'Frozen' and 'The Power Of Goodbye' are some of the most beautiful songs Madonna has ever produced, 'Little Star' is adorable, and 'Mer Girl' is, erm, certainly interesting.

As an era Ray Of Light heralded a cringe-worthy, embarassing Madonna, noncing about in geisha outfits, pretending she was of an ethnic minority and generally making a bit of a dick of herself. But, to be fair, everybody was noncing about in geisha outfits, pretending to be of an ethnic minority and generally making dicks of themselves in 1998 - even Spice Girls gave 'Spice Up Your Life' a jaunty Asian vibe when they performed it in India for Top of the Pops - and, even when she's making a dick of herself, Madonna is dedicated.