I thought I'd better comment on this, before we got onto reviewing the holy trinity of Madonna albums and I forgot it was happening.

This years shortlist can be broken into two categories - 'Good' and 'What Were They Thinking? That's Shit!'. Standby for some controversial opinions - if anybody is thinking about turning up on the judging panel, you might want to start sharpening your pitchfork now.

Good:

Emma Bunton, 'Maybe' - I'd usually jump at the chance of championing my newly-appointed favourite-former-Spice Girl-who-still-acknowledges-she-was-a-Spice Girl and scream down to the capital amidst a cloud of Emma Bunton propoganda, but my loyalties are torn between my two favourite artists on the 19 roster, Emma and Rachel Stevens. What's a boy to do?

Busted, 'Crashed The Wedding' - 'Where's 'Who's David'?', I hear you cry. That's what I was thinking. 'Who's David' is heaps better than this. But it's Busted, and I'm loyal, so I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assumed they only shortlisted the shittest song Busted have released this year because they want to fix it so Girls Aloud or Rachel Stevens wins.

Girls Aloud, 'The Show' - I'm back to liking it again, so it stays, and it'll probably win. But, good as it is, it won't be getting my vote.

McFly, 'Five Colours In Her Hair' - Ordinarily you'd hear me cry, 'Let's hear it for the boys!', but when the boys are up against a former Spice Girl and Rachel Stevens' greatest hits, I'm afraid they're going to have to take a backseat. Sorry, Danny. I'll make it up to you eventually...

Rachel Stevens, 'Some Girls' - Rachel Stevens - void as she is of any personality - is the perfect vehicle for Richard X's robopop, and if this were her only entry I'd want it to win. But it's not. So I don't.

Rachel Stevens, 'Sweet Dreams My LA Ex' - 'Baby that tongue ain't wel-come uh-round here'. I think we have a winner...

Limbo:

Will Young, 'Leave Right Now' - I can't decide whether I like this or not. I know that Jessica will be championing it, and Crystal will tell me that I like it, and that I once sat in the back of a taxi wishing I'd written it. But I don't. It's a little bit weak.

What Were They Thinking? That's Shit!:

Jamelia, 'Superstar' - I quite like Jamelia, but I still think she's a bit shit, so we'll file this under Popstars I Don't Get and we'll leave it at that.

Javine, 'Surrender' - It's going to take more than a few trumpets and a natty haircut for you to become the UK's answer to Beyonce, Ms. Hilton.

Keane, 'Somewhere Only We Know' - What were they thinking? It's not that Keane don't make pop music. It's that Keane don't make good music. 'Somewhere Only We Know' is rubbish!

Shaznay Lewis, 'Never Felt Like This Before' - More disappointing than anything - Shaznay was All Saints, and, when they weren't berating the Spice Girls and thinking they were the most important musical movement since The Beatles, All Saints were quite good. So it was a shame that she would come back after such a longtime with this, the Mel B album-filler that never was.

Sugababes, 'Hole In The Head' - Controversial! It's just noise. Not even
attractively-packaged noise. Just noise.

See you in September...