It's on.

Yay! James and Andrew! are they hosting? No, we're cutting to the UK to....Ant & Dec. Ok, James and Andrew are a lot more attractive than I gave them credit for.

The audience actually laugh at Ant and Dec's jokes? No-one ever laughed at James and Andrew's! Unfair!

Ok, the contestants are starting.

Germany - Holy crap. I can't even believe that was for real.

Netherlands - A Blue Feat. Elton John cover! Quite a good singer, rocking the glasses like Guy rocked the Fro, I see.

Pan Arabic - Aw, I like her! Great singer too! That said - in English next time please.

Belgium - Ha, Nirvana! I dig.

Judges fighting.....er, Simon Cowell and Pete Waterman are CRITICISING people for auditioning for Idol? The hell? 'If you were serious about music you wouldn't of auditioned'. Er...it's your show, dickhead.

Sigh. *Whines*: When's Guy gonna come on?

South Africa - This guy's quite good looking. Aerosmith! Woohoo! Ok, love the suit....love the singing....good. Yes, very good.

Dicko rules! Oh yeah, and I hate the Polish judge and his lame-ass jokes.

I don't really understand Ant & Dec.

Where are you Guy?

Argh! It's little Alex!

Poland - It's the moment we've all been waiting for. Ok, I like the hair, I like the outfit....oh! Emotion! Well done Alex.

Yay! Alex hates the Polish judge too! Great, he SUCKS.

Seriously, he is a fucker.

I love Simon Cowell.

Canada - Another guy using glasses as a gimmick. Sheesh. He's alright. Love the song he sang, but he wasn't that outstanding.

USA - Kelly Clarkson! I know her! Gees, she looks....scared? Bored? Oh no, I hate to say it, but that was shit.

Damn, Kelly.

And she WAS the donkey.

Ok, James and Andrew say Guy is soon. WHERE IS HE?

Huh? Ant and Dec are bigging up Guy too? "Well, we bet you're wondering when Guy Sebastain's up?" That MUST of been especially recorded for the Oz viewers. As if anyone else cares when Guy's on.

But....yes.....he's next! Eeekk!



AUSTRALIA - Argh! Clips! It's the pimp coat! Go The Fro signs.....here he is!

Guy, you fucking legend. I'm so proud.

Aw, it's a Guy/Dicko love in! Go the Aussies!

ARGH! Pete says Guy is gonna win!

Simon loves him too!

I luv Simon/Pete/Dicko/Guy 4eva!

UK - Oh yeah, there's other countries too. OH DEAR. Will SO doesn't want to be here does he? Fucking hell, he looks so disinterested it's not funny.

Or is that just how he is all the time? Cos now he's smiling. I dunno...

Polish judge can go to hell.

Norway - Isn't it quite surprising how many of the Idol winners are ugly? Good looking winners are the exception rather than the rule. Ooh, he's doing a bit of U2. Ooh...he's very crap. That was a shame.

Ha, Simon agrees about the ugo quotient! There ARE a shitload of ugly Idols.

That's it! It's all over!

Right, so it's a week till Guy is crowned World Idol! He honestly WAS the best, and even if I wasn't an Aussie I would be saying that. Probably.

Go. The. Fro.