2003 - at once the best and worst year pop has seen in a very long time. On one hand, we've seen Russian lesbians ride it out at number one, Madonna and Kelly and Sophie releasing new albums, Patrick Wolf's fully-fledged arrival, and Sky making her debut. On the other hand, it's been shit, with Justin and Beyonce and P!NK and Christina being heralded as true icons in an age when Dead Or Alive's greatest hits package slips by ignored, and 'Where Is The Fucking Bastarding Love' holds the record for being the longest-standing single to hold the number one since Cher release 'Beleive'.

Oh, fuck it, here's some lists:

Top Five Albums Of The Year:

1. Patrick Wolf, Lycanthropy - By a long shot.
2. Tatu, In The Wrong Lane - They're coming back, you know.
3. Rufus Wainwright, Want One - His new hair is ace.
4. Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Shoot From The Hip - If only for 'Physical'.
5. That Hedwig And The Angry Inch thing with Rufus and Yoko on it - It's called Wig In A Box, it's pretencious as sin, and it's great.

Honourable Mentions: Nelly Furtado, Folklore; Madonna, American Life; Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Fever To Tell; Kelly Osbourne, Changes; Peaches, Fatherfucker; Jamie Cullum, Twentysomething (his orginal songs are very, very good, and his take on 'Wind Cries Mary' is something else. And he's got a funny-shaped head, and wears baby blue Converse. And because I predicted that, because I hated him with seering passion, I'd fall in love with him a week later. And because I did); Liz Phair, Liz Phair (which should have been called Phairground, but we'll let her off); The Quim, Ready To Run; Har Mar Superstar, You Can Feel Me; Marilyn Manson, The Golden Age Of Grotesque (because 'and don't forget the violence' made me piss myself laughing); Girls Aloud, Sound Of The Underground (which, I'm afraid, doesn't hold up as an album as well as it does as a hits collection).

I have found myself revisiting the past a little too often this year, though. Because there hasn't been a great many fantastic albums released. Which is a shame, really, because now I can actually afford CDs, I still find myself visiting the £5.99 section.

Top Five Television Programmes Of 2003:

1. Neighbours - Well, what else?
2. Popworld - Britney. Blondie. Beenie!
3. Lizzie McGuire - Oh, Gordo, where for art thou? Roll on the new series!
4. That'll Teach 'Em - Not just for schoolgirl fetishists. Nick looked nice in his school uniform, too.
5. Buffy - I've been converted. I fucking love Willow.

What The Year Has Taught Us:

- Sometimes goodbye, thought it hurts in your heart, is the only way for destiny.
- When at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
- If you look forward to an album for ages, it will probably be shit. Unless it's by Patrick.

Top Six Most Anticipated Comebacks Of 2004:

1. Kate Bush. Please, Kate.
2. Patrick Wolf.
3. George Michael - Although something more like 'Freeek!' than 'The Grave' would be much appreciated.
4. Daphne and her friend, Celeste.
5. Yoko Ono.
6. Kelly Osbourne - Especially if she's employing the same sound as she did on 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas'.

To Be Continued.