Me and I’m Breathless have a love/hate relationship. Sometimes I love it, and think it’s quite frankly the best album I’ve ever heard. Sometimes I hate it, and think, ‘God, this must be amongst the top five shittest things Madonna has ever done’ (more on that story later).

Yesterday, I listened to it and thought it was shit, so I didn’t bother reviewing it, because my review wouldn’t have been extremely appreciative.

But, today, I love it. Or, at least, like it. A bit. So, on with the show…

1. He’s A Man - I don’t think I’d ever listened to this song all the way through before until today. This is because I love ‘Sooner Or Later’, and usually skip past this to get to it. I’m not entirely sure why, because I quite like it. Oh, well.

2. Sooner Or Later - ‘Baby it‘s time that you faced it I always get my man‘. Madonna, singing about being a bit of a whore, with a jaunty swing band vibe: beyond bonza.

3. Hanky Panky - Why does this exist? My bottom hurts just thinking about it.

4. I’m Going Bananas - And this, why does this exist? Still, it’s better than ‘Hanky Panky’.

5. Cry Baby - I like this song, more than I probably should. It’s all in the delivery. Baby-voiced New Yawker Madonna is one of my favourite Madonnas.

6. Something To Remember - It’s nice, but it certainly wouldn’t make my top ten Madonna ballads of all time.

7. Back In Business - There’s a reason why I’ve never listened to this.

8. More - ‘Any number is fine with me - as long as it’s more!’. My anthem.

9. What Can You Lose? - What was she thinking?

10 - 11. Now I’m Following You - This is a lot better than it has any right to be, especially Part Two.

12. Vogue - Controversial opinions ahoy! If it hadn’t been for the nice slice of white rap sandwiched in the middle, I’d fucking hate ‘Vogue’. It’s shit!